On The Way Down
by EvenAngelsFall22
Summary: COMPLETE On the way down, I saw you, and you saved me from myself. And I won't forget the way you loved me. Jason can't stop thinking about Courtney.
1. On The Way Down

**_Disclaimer_**: The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself, don't belong to me.

**_Summary_**: Jason can't stop thinking about Courtney. But he made his choice. He chose business over her. Now he has to deal with it, right? Takes place after Lorenzo's yacht blew up, when Courtney had warned Jason about the police set-up. Other than that, I may have fudged a few details to my advantage.

**_Author's note_**: Okay everyone, this is my first attempt at writing a Jason POV fic, and my first attempt at writing anything in first-person so bear with me. I'm really struggling with my story _Everything For You_ right now, so if any of you that have read it have any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to hear them. As always, reviews and suggestions are more than welcome, and more importantly, they make me smile!!

The song used is _On the Way Down_ by Ryan Cabrera.

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_Sick and tired of this world  
There's no more air  
Tripping over myself, going nowhere_

She warned me. How many times could she warn me and how many times could I ignore her? How many times could I turn my back and still have her come running back to warn me once again?

And why, for the life of me, did I want her; _need_ her, to keep running back?

_You chose this_, that nagging, tired voice kept ringing in my head. _You had every chance to have her in your life and you chose no._

I had made my choice. I couldn't be Jason Morgan, loving husband. No, I chose to be Jason Morgan, the Enforcer. Sonny's bitch, if you really wanted to be honest.

And I wasn't even very good at that. Just look at my many failed attempts at "taking care of business", if you will.

So here I am, sitting at Jake's, drinking my fifth, maybe sixth beer. I really wasn't counting. All I knew was every time I set down one empty bottle, Cassie, my waitress for the night, brought me a new, full one.

And though I'm trying my damnedest to not think about _her, _she's all I can think about.

I take another long swig of my beer and sigh. I'm tired, and I know I should go home, but Sam's there. And honestly, she's getting on my nerves. More and more lately, I've been wondering why I ever got myself involved in that whole situation.

It was definitely the final nail in the coffin that was my relationship with Courtney.

Or maybe that final nail was me not listening to her on the docks the other night.

Or maybe when I found her in Jax's arms, kissing him and looking at him the way she used to, the way she _still,_ looks at me.

Okay, so maybe there were way too many nails in that coffin to count.

A shot glass appears before me on the table and I raise my eyebrows at Cassie questioningly, not remembering ordering it.

"Pretty blonde at the bar says you looked like you needed it," she said, nodding her head towards the bar. For a second my heart leaps into my throat and I wonder if it's her.

But I know better. She would never be at Jakes. And she would never order me a shot; she'd have gotten me a beer. I know this as I swing my head around, but I still feel disappointed as my eyes land on said blonde girl. She smiles at me, and I feel my own mouth curl upward in acknowledgment before I turn around again. I tell Cassie that the girl's next drink is on me, but that's it. I have no plans to go over there and talk to her.

_Waiting, suffocating, no direction_

And then, just like that, I need to get out of the bar. I need fresh air. I need to clear my head.

I throw a few bills down on the table, making sure to tip Cassie well, as she always treats me well when I'm here. She shouts her good-byes from over by the bar, but I barely nod as I walk out the front door.

I'm not sure what time it is, but it's late, and there aren't many people around, which is more than fine with me. The last thing I need is to run into someone I know. Someone like Carly, who would be able to tell the mood I'm in and start running her mouth.

By the time I reach the docks, I've given up on not thinking about her. I know it's beyond my control and I've resigned myself to the fact that she's on my mind tonight, and most likely in my dreams to come later.

I stuff my hands deeper into my coat pockets and continue walking down the piers. The last time I was here was the night we were finally supposed to get Faith. Courtney found me that night. Told me it was a set-up. Begged me, pleaded with me not to do anything stupid. I was sure if she had had anything heavy with her, she'd have knocked me out again, but this time was different.

This time when I told her to stay out of my business and leave, everything changed.

The love that always shone so bright in her eyes had dimmed. She had finally accepted that I was never going to give up this life for her.

And she walked away.

_I took a dive and_

_On the way down  
I saw you, and you saved me from myself  
And I won't forget the way you loved me  
And on the way down  
I almost fell right through  
But I held on to you_

Okay, so I hadn't gotten Faith that night. And Courtney had been right about the set-up. And maybe, just maybe, had I gotten the chance, I wouldn't have killed Faith.

Would I have?

One part of me screams _yes. _Yes, I would have killed Faith. But only because Sonny gave an order and everyone knows I do whatever Sonny says. That's my job, and don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. God knows I love my job. I'd have to, to give up everything I've given up.

Then there's that second part of me, the one that's been nagging me all damn night.

That stupid part of me that knows damn well I wouldn't have killed Faith because I wouldn't have been able to ever look Courtney in the eyes ever again.

Damn it. I leaned heavily against a lamppost and rubbed my eyes. The alcohol was starting to take effect and I was getting more emotional than I liked.

_I made my choice. I made my choice. _No matter how many times I repeated my mantra, it gave me no piece of mind. I tried to clear my head, tried to reason with myself.

I had my reasons. I had every reason to choose my job over Courtney. It's who I am. It's who I worked so hard to become. I couldn't throw that all away, especially not for a woman. I had tried that before, and what had it accomplished?

With Robin, it was supposed to work. Instead, she got angry, told AJ about Michael and skipped town.

And with Liz, well, she was never really over Lucky in the first place, and maybe we were together out of convenience, but in any case, that still didn't work out in my favor.

So to me, my hesitation to give up my life for Courtney was well-founded by me, but I could understand why she didn't agree with me. But why give up everything I had worked so hard for, for something so fragile as our relationship. _Because, be honest Morgan,_ that voice screamed in my head, _you and Courtney were never rock strong._

_Been wondering why it's only me  
Have you always been inside waiting to breathe  
It's alright, sunlight on my face  
_

Maybe we weren't, I argued with the voice. But I never really gave us the chance to be. Maybe if I hadn't been so stubborn, the one trait I kept from Jason Quartermaine, I'd have been able to listen to Courtney and give us a real shot at being together.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

That's all I had now. That was abundantly clear after what I saw yesterday. I had gone over to her loft. Why? I'm not sure why. To thank her for saving my life once again? To see how she was doing? To tell her I missed her? It didn't matter why I was there. I got off of the elevator and saw her in _his _arms. Kissing him as though she actually cared about him.

And then it was my turn to walk away.

_On the way down  
I saw you, and you saved me from myself  
And I won't forget the way you loved me  
And on the way down  
I almost fell right through  
But I held on to you_

So now here I am, left alone with my choice. My decision. And I should be happy for her, right? I should be happy that she's happy because I've sworn up and down to her that all I've ever wanted for her was to be happy.

Of course, I never expected her to be happy without me.

I'm an idiot. I realize this, as I continue walking down the pier. That girl loved me more than I could ever have asked or expected her to. She put her own life on the line so too many times for me to count, and I couldn't even do the one thing she asked of me.

Okay, so I was a selfish idiot.

But I did the right thing; I tried to tell myself. I gave her up to save her. _You gave her up to save yourself_, the voice inside points out and I hate it even more now, because it's right. When I was with Courtney, I became more human than I could ever remember being. I let myself feel emotions. I let myself be real.

And that all got in the way of my job.

_I was so afraid of going under  
But now, the weight of the world  
Feels like nothing, nothing  
_

Was it so bad to be real? Why couldn't I find that happy medium between work and love? Carly and Sonny had done it. Hell, even Alan and Monica seemed to make it work. Was I that much weaker than I thought? Did I not love Courtney enough?

Of course I loved Courtney. I loved her too much.

I realize my thoughts are in past tense, and it makes me angry. I don't know when I started thinking in past tense and I hate that I think that way.

_You're all I wanted  
You're all I needed  
_

I close my eyes again, and all I can see is her kissing Jax. I don't want to see that. I don't want to be that person. The one that only wants what he can't have. That's not who I am, and Courtney deserves better than that.

_You're all I wanted  
You're all I needed_

This time, when I close my eyes, I see her the first time we met, the first time we kissed, our wedding day. And then I blink and I see her when we lost the baby, when she knocked me unconscious, when we signed our divorce papers.

And God, I want her more than ever.

I need her more than ever.

_On the way down  
I saw you, and you saved me from myself  
And I won't forget the way you loved me  
And on the way down  
I almost fell right through  
But I held on to you_

But now it's not about me. Because there's Sam and her baby, and the promise I made to them, and to Sonny. And then there's Courtney, and she's finally moved on and what right do I have to jump in and destroy her life again?

Because that's what I do to her.

I destroy her.

And even if she took me back, would I be able to leave everything behind for her finally?

Would she even take me back?

I hear footsteps behind me. They're slight, and an untrained ear wouldn't be able to hear them, but I do. I hear the hesitation in their step as I'm spotted, and the sharp intake of breath as they continue towards me.

I close my eyes for a second, telling myself it's not her, not wanting to turn around and being faced with disappointment for the second time that night. I can't handle the disappointment anymore, and besides, even if it is her, what would I say?

Would I ask for a second chance?

Slowly, I turn around, and it's her. She's standing there, the slight breeze whipping her blonde hair around her shoulders. My first instinct is to scold her. She shouldn't be out on the docks in the middle of the night by herself.

My second instinct is to grab her in my arms and make her all the promises she wants to hear.

We stare at each other for a long moment, unsure of what to say, or who should even speak first. And the longer we stand there, the more nervous I get, because I don't know what I'm going to do, and finally I take a deep breath and make the first move.

_On the way down  
I saw you, and you saved me from myself  
And I won't forget the way you loved me  
And on the way down  
I almost fell right through  
But I held on to you_

God, it feels good to have her in my arms again. It feels even better after her initial shock wears off and she relaxes against me, allowing herself to let her guard down.

We're both a little scared now, and not sure what to do next, but I've gotten this far, I may as well keep going.

"I love you," I murmur against the top of her head. I'm afraid she hasn't heard me, but then I feel her lips saying the same against my neck and I smile.

I pull away slightly from her, and see that her eyes are closed, as if she's too scared to open them. Too scared that maybe I'm just drunk and don't mean what I say.

I need to reassure her.

Tilting her chin up, I press my lips against hers and I'm not going to lie. It's the best feeling I've ever had in my entire life and I know I can't let her go ever again. It's up to me to make this work, and I'm going to do whatever it takes.

_But I held on to you..._

_

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**_Author's Note _**Hmm. Okay, well, what do we all think? I really don't think I've captured Jason all that well, but it's also almost 4:30 in the morning, so maybe I should sleep before posting this, but no. Instead, I'm going to post it as is, and if anyone has any suggestions, or flat out hates it, please, don't be afraid to let me know! Nicole


	2. Farther Down

**_Disclaimer_**: The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital don't belong to me.

**_Summary_**: Jason can't stop thinking about Courtney, and now Courtney can't stop thinking about him. Takes place after Lorenzo's yacht blew up, when Courtney had warned Jason about the police set-up. Other than that, I may have fudged a few details to my advantage.

**_Author's Note_**: Originally, _On the Way Down _was supposed to be a one-shot, but I've decided to continue on with it. Chapter 2 is going to be from Courtney's POV, and then starting with chapter 3, I think I'm going to stop with 1st person POV so that I can bring in the other characters and their reactions. Hopefully this isn't too confusing for everyone, and I hope you like it.

The song is _Farther Down_ by Matthew Sweet, and is on the soundtrack for _Can't Hardly Wait._

_Into you so far the words go_

_So much clearer than you hear_

My head is spinning. Did I hear him right? Did Jason just tell me he loves me? I've been with him for maybe a minute and a half tonight and I'm more confused than ever. He was the last person I expected to see on the docks tonight, and while I'm not ashamed to admit that my heart fluttered like it always does when he pulled me into his familiar embrace, now that I'm here and he's telling me he loves me, I'm scared out of my mind.

Of course, being scared doesn't stop me from proclaiming my own love to him. I can't help it; the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

_Into you goes everything I know_

_No one else knows how I feel_

And then, just as suddenly as everything else that's already happened, he's kissing me. And oh my God, try as I might to be strong my body betrays me as my knees go weak and I have to hold on to him just to keep myself from falling.

In that one exact moment I love him and hate him just the same.

My hands fall from around his neck and slide down his shoulders so they're pressed against his chest. _This feels right_, my heart screams at me, betraying me just like my body has. I allow myself to kiss him a few seconds more. All at once Jason overpowers my senses. From the touch of the soft leather my hands are pressed against, to the sound of his breathing, to the taste of beer on his lips, he's consumed me.

It's not like this when Jax kisses me. Don't get me wrong, I've grown very fond of kissing Jax in the last few months, he's very good at it. But he's not Jason. He's not even close.

_That's the whole point_. Finally, my mind takes over once again. Jax isn't Jason. That's a big part of his appeal. That _is _his appeal.

My hands are still pressed against his chest and I use them to push us apart. By the look in his eyes I can tell that he's surprised and I have to admit, I'm pretty surprised myself.

"Courtney," his voice is low and confused.

I shake my head, not wanting him to say anymore. "I can't do this again," I whisper.

"Can't do what?"

"This." I gesture helplessly between him and me. "Jason, we're divorced. We can't keep falling into these passionate moments in the middle of the night only to pretend the next morning that they never happened."

"Then we won't pretend," Jason said, capturing both of my hands in his. He tries to pull me closer but I resist. "Courtney, you don't understand. I want us back. I want you back."

"Don't do this," I plead softly. "I'm moving on Jason. I never thought that would happen, but you know what? It has. And I can't keep playing this game of one step forward and two steps back. I'm not that strong."

"Courtney—"

"I'm sorry." I look at him once more and then I turn and walk away, leaving him standing there confused. I keep walking until I'm sure I'm out of his eyesight, and only then do I break into a run.

_Farther down_

_I'm desperate for you_

_Where you never have to know_

_Farther down_

_I'm still without a clue_

_Till something_

_Something takes my pain away_

Instead of running home, I find myself outside of Jax's loft. Acting before thinking as usual, I don't wonder if he's sleeping until I've pushed the doorbell.

"Courtney?" Jax opens the door and peeks out curiously. "Are you okay?"

Before the words are out of his mouth I'm in his arms and kissing him. I know it's wrong. I know I'm using Jax to forget about Jason.

Ask me if I care though.

He tries to pull away but I fight him, clinging to him desperately. My mouth is searching his, trying to erase the memory of kissing Jason. I can tell he's been drinking red wine, and briefly I wonder if he can taste Jason on me, but I push the thoughts from my head and continue kissing him.

Jax is stronger than me though, and finally, he escapes my grasp. "Courtney, what's going on?" he asks, bringing me into his loft and shutting the door behind him.

"I couldn't sleep." It was a half-truth. I had no intention of bringing up my encounter with Jason.

Jax smiles, and I can tell he's amused. "Dreaming of me again, are you?"

"Something like that." Okay, now I'm fully lying to him but I don't care.

"Care to fill me in on the dream?" Jax asks, sitting down next to me.

"No," I say, shaking my head. I lean in for another kiss and he complies. He's very cautious though, handling me as if I'm made of glass and that annoys me so I kiss him harder, trying to force him into something I'm not even sure I want.

I don't know how long we kiss but he's the first one to pull away again. "Courtney, are you sure?" he asks. "There's still 2 weeks left in the bet."

"Forget about the damn bet Jax!" I urge, pulling him close again. This time he doesn't let me kiss him.

"Courtney, tell me what's wrong, why are you acting like this?"

I sigh again, this time in frustration. "I'm tired Jax! I'm tired, and I'm unhappy, and I'm sad, and I don't want to be any of those things anymore." I look up into his sparkling blue eyes before finishing. "I'm not those things when I'm with you."

And I know I've said too much because his eyes sparkle a little less and his jaw tightens.

"What's Morgan done now?" he sighs.

"Asked me to go back to him." I look at my hands as I answer him.

"You said no?" Jax doesn't even try to hide the surprise that's evident in his voice.

"I ran away," I admit. I look up at him again. "I ran to you."

Jax is silent for a moment, and then he tilts my head up and looks me straight in the eye. "Courtney, go home," he says softly.

"What?" Those were the last words I expected to hear from him.

"Go home. As much as I want you, I don't want you this way. Not when you're just trying to forget about Jason."

It amazes me how well he knows me.

"So go home, and when you wake up tomorrow, if you still want this, then give me a call. Okay?" He smiles at me as he ushers me out the door. "Sleep tight," he says, kissing my forehead.

I stare at the door as it closes, completely dumfounded. Jax just kicked me out. He had every right to, but I still can't believe he did it.

I open my own apartment door and Rosie comes running from the other room to greet me. I grab a photo album off of the top of the shelf, and curl up on the couch with Rosie at my feet.

_Only chance can change my fortune_

_So I'm not sure why I try_

It's obvious now. I should have seen it before. I'm cursed. Cursed to be alone and unhappy and miserable for the rest of my life. I mean hell, life with AJ wasn't exactly perfect, and Jason and I have had more bad times than good. Jax, well yeah he was fun to be around, but did we have actual feelings for each other or were we just in lust?

And after the spectacle I made of myself tonight, would we ever be able to figure that out?

It's like my mom always said about running the blackjack tables. There is no luck, only chance. And maybe, just maybe, I've used up all my chances at being happy.

And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I gaze down at a picture of Jason and I at our rehearsal dinner. We looked happy in the picture, so we must have been happy, right? And its not like I didn't know what he did for a living at the time. Why did it become so hard to live with after that?

_Because you lost your little girl after that. _My hand automatically goes to my abdomen as I think of her. It was true though. All of our problems became a thousand times worse after I miscarried.

_As if I could swim the ocean_

_As if you could start to fly_

After that it was a constant push and pull between us. I couldn't excuse his violent life, and he couldn't leave it. That was what it all came down to really. We wanted each other to do the impossible and neither of us was willing.

Was he willing now?

Was I?

Before I can stop myself I throw the picture album across the room. Rosie lifts her head slightly but she's sleepy and her head drops again. At least someone's sleeping tonight.

It's ironic, I note bitterly. Being torn between two guys, neither of who is probably any good for me. Of course now, only now, when I've stopped denying my feelings for Jax, does Jason decide he wants me back.

I stare at the phone, knowing I shouldn't pick it up. But I have to; I have to apologize before I lose my nerve. I have to find out what's going on.

"Courtney?" He picks up immediately.

"Can you come over?" I ask. "We need to talk."

"I'm on my way." I hear the dial tone before I can reply so all that's left to do is wait.

_Farther down_

_I'm desperate for you_

_Where you never have to know_

_Farther down_

_I'm still without a clue_

_Till something_

_Something takes my pain away_

I hear him come off the elevator and my door is open before he can knock. I can tell that this amuses him, but I don't care.

"What happened tonight?" I ask him, searching his eyes for any information they might hold.

Jason sighs and drops his hands to his sides uselessly. "I don't know Courtney. I don't know what happened. But I meant what I said; I want you back. I want us to try and work this out. I think we can get back what we lost."

"Not everything," I say quietly, my hand resting on my stomach again. "Jason, too much has happened. We can't go back."

"Then we can go forward," he pressures. I stare at him in amazement, wondering if he is indeed drunk, as these are things Jason Morgan would never say to me.

"How?" I ask sadly. "It's not just you and me anymore Jason."

"Yes it is," he insists. "Courtney, do you love me?"

"You know better than to ask that," I admonish him gently. "But Jason, what about Sam and the baby? What about Jax?"

"We'll figure it out," he promises me, placing his hand on my arm and pulling me closer. "Anything you want, Courtney, I'll do it." His thumb traces my lower lip and I close my eyes, wanting to believe him.

"You can't make those kinds of promises," I whisper. I don't open my eyes, but I can feel his face inching closer to mine.

"I just did," he says before covering my mouth with his again.

I want to believe him, _God_, I want to believe him with my whole heart and soul, but I don't.

I don't stop kissing him either.

_One night won't be so bad_, I think as we edge closer to my bed. One night that would either be our final goodbye or our new beginning.

I just have to figure out which it is. But that will have to wait until tomorrow because all I can focus on right now are all of the wonderful things Jason is doing to me.

_Something takes my pain away..._


	3. Tangled Up In Me

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself, don't belong to me.

**_Summary: _**It's obvious Jason and Courtney can't stay away from each other, but can they overcome all of the obstacles life keeps throwing at them?

**_Author's Note: _**This chapter is mostly dialogue, which I'm not very fond of, but I found it very necessary to push the story ahead. Hope you all enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated!

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_Can't you see I want you by the way I push you away_

_Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today._

_--Skye Sweetnam – Tangled Up In Me_

Three things woke Courtney up the next morning, but she wasn't sure which one woke her up first.

There was the sun shining through the curtains she had somehow managed to forget to close the night before.

Then there was the pounding that she vaguely heard as her eyes opened and sleep eased itself out of her body.

And of course, there was the fact that Jason was still sound asleep next to her, his arm securing her against his own body.

But back to the pounding. Courtney finally realized it was someone at her door and flew into an upright position, waking Jason in the process.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked groggily, sitting up in bed himself.

"Someone's at the door," she said in a stage whisper. _Oh my God,_ she thought. _What if it's Jax?_

"Are you going to answer it or let them wake everyone in the building up?" he asked, not bothering to hide the amusement in his voice.

She glared at him as she threw on her robe and headed towards the door. "Could you just—I don't know, hide or something?"

"Hide? It's not like we're in high school Courtney," Jason laughed.

"Courtney are you in there? Open the door already!"

"Oh god," Courtney said. "Hang on one second!" she called back. She turned back to Jason once more, her eyes pleading. "Please?" she asked. "You know you don't want to deal with this either right now."

"Fine fine," he said, still smiling. "You're cute when you're panicked though," he said placing a kiss on the top of her head before going into the bathroom.

He had barely shut the door when the front door flew open.

"Were you going to answer the door or let me sit out there screaming?" Carly asked, coming into the room. "I brought coffee and bagels," she said holding up a bag.

"Carly, hey. Did we have plans today?" Courtney asked, running a hand through her hair, and glancing around the room nervously looking for any telltale signs of the previous night.

"Do we need plans now for me to come over? Court, are you okay?" Carly set her purse down on the table. "Did you just wake up? It's almost 10."

"Yeah, I had a late night," she said, looking back towards the bathroom door. "Why do you have a key to my apartment anyways?"

"You gave me a spare." Courtney felt her face heat up as Carly bent down and picked something up off of the floor. "Late night with whom?" she asked, holding up a gray t-shirt.

"Carly—"

"Oh my God, you did it, didn't you? You slept with Jax! Come on Courtney, you know better than that! I've told you from day one that he was bad news and that he was just out to use you to stick it to Sonny and Jason. I thought you were stronger than this! And what about the money for the foundation, do you think you're going to see any of that now?"

"Carly stop," Courtney said tiredly.

"Stop? Oh I'm just getting started! Seriously Courtney, how could you do that? Sleeping with Jax is a sure-fire way to drive Jason out of your life for good! Do you honestly think you two can get back together now?" She shook her head in disgust as she threw the shirt back down on the ground. "I hope it was worth it, because—"

"I didn't sleep with Jax!" Courtney interrupted.

"What?"

"I didn't sleep with Jax," she repeated, this time quieter.

"That's just great Courtney. Who then? And where is he because he obviously hasn't left yet, judging by the clothes thrown around the room." Her eyes swept over the loft and landed on the bathroom door.

"Carly, just stop!" Courtney begged as the brunette made her way over to the bathroom door and threw it open.

"Jason!"

Carly turned around with a huge smile on her face. "Forget everything I just said. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"When? While you were accusing me of sleeping with Jax?"

"Hey, it was a valid assumption. But then again, Jax would never wear a t-shirt, would he?"

"Shouldn't you be spending Saturday morning with your family?" Jason asked, coming back into the room and standing next to Courtney.

"Probably, but I'm definitely glad I came over here. It's about time you two! Wait until Sonny hears." Carly's face lit up. "Wait until Sam hears! Oh I can't wait to see the look on her face when we tell her—"

"_We're_ not telling her anything," Jason said pointedly.

"Well whatever, I just can't wait until she knows. Do you know what this means? This means we can plan another wedding!" Carly clapped her hands excitedly. "You know, maybe we can find a medium between your two previous weddings. You know, not as formal as the first one, but maybe a few more guests than the second one, and—"

"Carly stop!" Courtney said. "You're getting way ahead of yourself. Way ahead of us."

"What? You two are back together now, aren't you?" She looked back and forth between the two of them.

"It's a little more complicated than that," Courtney finally answered, wondering why Jason hadn't jumped in with an answer.

"And it's also none of your business," Jason informed Carly. Not the answer Courtney was looking for and she hoped her disappointment didn't show on her face.

"All right, fine," Carly said, holding her hands up in front of her. "Maybe I'm jumping the gun a little bit here, but I better be the first one to know when you are planning a wedding."

"Carly was there a reason you came here in the first place?" Courtney asked, rubbing her temples. It wasn't even noon and already she had a headache.

"I'm sure there was but I forget it now." Carly shrugged. "But anyways, I'll go so you two can be alone and finish whatever it was you were doing." She picked up Jason's t-shirt off the ground and threw it back to him. "It's kind of cold in here, might want to put that back on," she said, grabbing her purse off the table and heading towards the door. "Call me later Court!"

And just as suddenly as she had arrived, she was gone.

"How long do you think before she tells everyone?" Courtney asked, looking over at Jason.

"I'm sure she's on the phone with Sonny right now." He sat down on the sofa, pulling her down with him. "You sleep all right last night?"

"Yeah, I did," she said truthfully. She had slept better than she had in a long time. "You?"

"Yeah."

There was a period of 35 seconds of silence before Courtney sighed in frustration. "I knew this would happen," she said finally.

"What would?"

"Awkward morning-after conversation! This was exactly what I was afraid of, that last night would happen and then we'd wake up and realize it was a mistake and not know how to break it to each other."

Jason let Courtney finish her rant before beginning his own. "First of all, last night wasn't a mistake. Not from where I'm sitting. And as for things being awkward right now, we just had whirlwind Carly in here, and that's more than enough to put anyone on edge."

"Maybe," Courtney said, but he could hear the doubt in her voice.

Grinning, Jason let his hand dip a little lower from her waist and graze the bare skin underneath her robe. "Do you think last night was a mistake?"

Courtney jumped slightly at the feel of his fingers on her thigh. It amazed her after all this time that his touch was still as electric as the first time he touched her. "No," she admitted.

"I didn't think so," he said, his fingers tracing circles on her leg. "So why don't you sound so sure of yourself?"

"It's nothing," she said, feeling foolish about still wondering why he hadn't said anything other than "it's complicated" when Carly asked if they were back together.

"You sure?" he asked, his hand still making dizzying patters on her skin.

"Yeah," she said, her voice hitching in her throat as his hands began to undo her robe. "But maybe you could reassure me once more?"

"I think I can do that." Within minutes Jason had eased Courtney's mind of any doubts she may have still had about his intentions but before they could get too far, the ringing of his cell phone interrupted them.

"Are you going to get that?" she murmured when he didn't move from their embrace.

"I was going to let it ring."

"You can't do that," she said, pulling away. "It might be business."

"More likely it's Carly." He turned away to pull the ringing phone from the leather jacket her had thrown over the top of the sofa the night before. Courtney watched as his back stiffened as he saw who was on the phone and heard the tension in his voice as he answered it.

"Hey," he said, his back still turned. "Is everything okay? Yeah, I know I didn't call. I didn't think you would worry."

He was talking to Sam. Courtney could tell. And just as easily as her doubts had been removed, they all came raining down on her again.

And to add insult to injury at that very moment _her_ cell phone rang. She stole a look at Jason whose back was still turned to her before moving across the room to answer it. "Hello?"

"Good morning gorgeous!" Jax spoke with his unmistakable Australian drawl. "How are you doing this morning?"

"Hey you," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral. "Yeah, I'm doing fine today, I'm sorry about my little outburst last night."

"Hey no problem." Jax laughed. "I knew eventually you'd be throwing yourself at me."

"Very funny," she said dryly, casting another glance over her shoulder at Jason. He was still on his phone.

"I thought so. Care to join me for dinner in an hour or so at Kelly's?"

"Sure," she said hesitantly. She knew Jason wouldn't like it, but she did have to see Jax, if only to tell them that she and Jason were working on getting back together. The sooner the better, she rationalized.

"Great, Would you rather go somewhere else?"

"No, Kelly's is fine. I'll meet you there in an hour. Bye now." She hung up the phone and turned to see Jason looking at her.

"Who are you meeting at Kelly's?" he asked.

"Jax," she said, biting her lip.

He nodded but didn't say anything.

"I'm going to tell him that I can't see him anymore," she clarified. "I couldn't exactly do that over the phone, you know that."

"Yeah, I know," he said.

"What did Sam want?" she asked.

"She was worried because I wasn't home last night. She's been trying to assemble a high chair all night. I guess I should have called her." He shrugged.

"You were busy," Courtney said softly. She sighed. "Is this going to work?" she asked.

"It's not going to be easy," Jason admitted. "But when really, have we ever been easy?"

Courtney smiled. It was a small smile, but a smile all the same. "I'll try if you will," she said.

"Definitely," Jason said, leaning down to kiss her.

Reluctantly, Courtney pulled away. "You should get going," she said. "I've got to get ready and I'm sure Sam needs your help with the chair."

"Call me later?" Jason asked, once he was dressed and poised to leave.

Courtney nodded. "Bye," she said, grazing her lips against his cheek and closing the door behind him.

Was this what life was going to be like for them? Would she always be putting herself in second place, behind Sam and her baby? She couldn't very well ask Jason to end his agreement to help protect them just for her, could she?

She sighed as she stepped into the shower, adjusting the water to the right temperature. Now at least, she had an idea of how Carly must have felt before she and Sonny had gotten back together. Standing by and watching as her husband, the love of her live, answered to every whim of Sam McCall.

No wonder Carly hated the little twit so much.

Immediately, Courtney regretted the thought. Besides, she rationalized; Sam was carrying her niece after all.

Of course, that didn't make it hurt any less knowing that Jason was going to be playing a part of that baby's life that Courtney would never be able to experience with him.

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, trying to figure out what to wear. She would worry about Sam later, right now she had to decide what she was going to say to Jax.

No matter what she said, she knew he wasn't going to be very happy with her. And while she wasn't sure how her news was going to affect her foundation, she was more nervous about how it was going to affect Jax personally.

She halted in her step at that thought. Was it possible she cared about Jax more than she thought?

And just like that, her life became more complicated than she ever thought it could be.

And it wasn't even noon yet.

* * *

**_A.N: _**Like I said, all dialogue. Hopefully it was still an entertaining read. The reason for the Author's note down here is because the one section of my story, the part where Courtney realizes how Carly must have felt about Sam and Sonny was inspired by Rheanne's story _Walk Away_. Just wanted to give proper credit in case anyone recognized that, and hopefully, Rheanne doesn't mind that I took inspiration from it!

Oh! And also, I'm thinking about trying out the new C2 feature, and doing an archive of all of the awesome GH stories on this site and was wondering if anyone would be willing to contribute their stories or even want to help me with it... I know we're all busy what with school and all, or other real-life things, but I'm still thinking I'm going to do it, so let me know if you'd be willing to contribute stories or whatever, thanks!


	4. Here Is Gone

**Disclaimer: **The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself don't belong to me. 

**_Author's Note: _**Finally, an update! I'm finally realizing where I want this story to go and it seems to be shaping up nicely, hopefully you all enjoy this chapter. The lyrics are from _Here is Gone _by _the Goo Goo Dolls._

* * *

_You and I got something but its all and then its nothing to me_

_And I got my defenses when it comes to your intentions for me..._

"Right on time, just like always," Jax said cheerfully, as he stood to greet Courtney. He pulled her close for a kiss, but she turned her head slightly and his lips ended up on her cheek.

"My dad's right over there," she said uncomfortably, slipping out of his arms and waving slightly towards the counter where Mike was watching them, the unmistakable look of displeasure on his face. Briefly, she wondered how Mike would feel later on when she told him she was with Jason again. Would he then reconsider his attitude towards Jax?

"Right," he said. He waved at Mike himself and then pulled out a chair for Courtney. "Thanks for meeting me on such short notice. I wasn't sure if you would make it."

"It wasn't a problem at all," Courtney assured him, taking a sip of water. "Jax, I'm sorry about last night."

Jax waved his hand dismissively. "I kind of enjoyed the fact that you tried to take advantage of me," he said with a grin.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Well, I'd still like to thank you for telling me to go home." As soon as the words were out of her mouth she realized she couldn't have come up with a worse set-up into what she was going to tell him next if she tried.

"Well I meant what I said Courtney. As much as I want you, I don't want it to happen that way."

She took a deep breath. "Jax, I'm calling off the bet," she said. She was surprised at how easy the words came out of her mouth.

"Again? Come on Courtney, there's only two weeks left." Jax smiled at her mischievously. "Surely you can hang in there that long. And if not, well, I won't hold it against you if I end up winning the bet."

No, I'm calling off the bet. It's not a fair bet anymore."

"Why not? Courtney, I don't understand."

"Last night after I left your place I ended up calling Jason," Courtney explained. "Jax, we're—we've decided to try and work things out."

Jax rolled his eyes. "Again?" He saw that she was serious and his expression changed. "How many times are you going to do this to yourself?"

"It's not like that this time," she argued gently.

"Right," Jax scoffed. "You two spend all your time talking about getting back together and working things out, and then he goes and does something stupid like getting shot at and its over. Courtney, come on. Don't set yourself up again."

She shook her head stubbornly. "We didn't just talk about getting back together," she continued. "We—"she sighed. "It just wouldn't be fair for us to continue with the bet now, so that's why I'm calling it off. I'm sorry."

"You slept with him."

She looked down at her hands. "Yes," she said quietly.

He sat back in his chair. "I thought you were smarter than that," he said finally.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. I didn't mean anything by it."

Courtney looked up into his smirking eyes and shook her head. "I don't need a lecture, so I'm going to go. I just wanted to tell you that the bet was off." She pushed her chair back and walked out of Kelly's.

"Courtney wait!" She was halfway down the block when Jax caught up with her.

She turned around and sighed. "Jax, please, don't start. I don't need—"her sentence was cut off as Jax pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Caught off-guard, Courtney didn't know how to respond and by the time she realized she should be pulling away she found herself kissing him back. Clinging to him while all the while her head was screaming at her how wrong this was.

He broke off the kiss gently and pushed a stand of hair out of her face. "I could give you the world Courtney," he said sadly. "Morgan's going to hurt you, just like every other time. I can't promise that I'll be there to pick up the broken pieces but I can tell you this. By the way you just kissed me, the bet's not off. Not by a long shot." He gave her one of his trademark grins and walked away, leaving Courtney more confused than ever.

_And I was not the answer so forget you'd ever thought it was me..._

Jason let himself into the penthouse and looked around. "Sam?" he called, dropping his jacket onto the desk.

Sam appeared at the top of the steps. "Hey, you're back!" she said, making her way down into the living room. "Have you eaten yet? I can make you something if you—"

"I'm not hungry, thanks," he said, cutting her off. He gestured to the newly assembled high chair in the middle of the room. "Did you do this all yourself?" he asked.

"No," Sam admitted. "Max helped me out a little. I think it looks pretty good though."

"Yeah it does."

"So, where were you last night?" Sam asked. "Business?"

He shook his head. "No, nothing like that." He sat down on the couch.

Sam sat down next to him gingerly. "Well Carly was here a little while ago all smiles and asking if I had seen you yet." The look of frustration on his face didn't go unnoticed by her. "So I'm going to guess you've been with Courtney."

_Thanks a lot Carly, _Jason thought to himself, making a note to have a word with his loud-mouthed best friend soon. He nodded. "I ran into her last night and we started to talk and we're getting back together," he said simply.

"Oh." Sam's hand instinctively moved to her stomach. "Well what does this mean for me and Lila?" she asked.

"I made you a promise Sam. I'm not going to back out of it now. I can't do that to you or Sonny."

"Do you really think Courtney's going to be okay with you raising someone else's child?"

_No. _"Yes."

Sam raised her eyebrow. "Right. We'll all be the perfect little family huh? Me, Sonny, Lila, you and Courtney?"

"We'll figure things out," Jason said.

"Sure we will," Sam rolled her eyes. "Open your eyes Jase, this is exactly what's going to happen. You and Courtney are going to get back together, you're going to have less and less time for me and the baby, and then Sonny will get to have things his way. Are you sure Sonny and Courtney haven't planned this together?"

"They haven't planned anything." Jason sighed.

"Yeah I'll bet." Sam stood up. "So what? Is Courtney moving in here too?"

"We haven't gotten that far yet," Jason said. "But it's a possibility, yes."

"Perfect. All I need is Little Miss Perfect in here telling me everything I'm doing wrong." Sam began pacing. "Maybe I should just leave. Just take my daughter away from here and let everyone live their lives without me screwing it up."

Jason pressed his hands to his temples. "You're not leaving town," he said tiredly.

"It would be a lot easier for everyone involved if I did," Sam pointed out. "Seriously Jason, no one's going to care if—oh my God." She stopped moving and put her hand on her stomach.

"What, what's wrong?" Jason asked, standing up.

"Nothing," Sam said. "This little girl's just kicking up a storm today, that's all." She smiled and took Jason's hand, placing it on her stomach over hers. "You feel that?"

Jason smiled back. "You're right, she is active today, isn't she?" They stood there for a moment, marveling at the life growing inside of Sam.

Sam sighed, and dropped Jason's hand. "It's too bad you won't be able to share in as many moments of her life as I thought you would."

"What?"

She shrugged. "You'll be busy with Courtney. I'm sure the two of you will try and have your own child eventually." She smiled sadly. "I'll understand if you can't be the father I thought you could to my child." She picked up a book that was lying on the coffee table and headed up the stairs. She stole a glance at Jason over her shoulder, wondering if her guilt trip had had any effect oh him.

Jason sat back down on the couch and closed his eyes. It was going to be hard, he knew that. But it was possible, wasn't it?

He and Courtney would be able to move past all of this and start their life over again, wouldn't they?

There was a knock on the door and he smiled. He would recognize Courtney's knock anywhere. Standing, he walked over to the door and opened it.

"We need to talk," she said softly, standing in the doorway and not looking him in the eye.

_And we wake up in the breakdown of the things we never thought we could be..._


	5. Falling Down

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself, don't belong to me.

**_Author's Note: _**The updates are becoming farther and farther apart, I know and I'm sorry. I've been trying to get them out faster, but something always gets in the way. I also know that I should have updated my other story first, but I'm still in the process of editing the latest chapter, so expect it in a few days. Thank you everyone who's reviewed so far and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Oh! I also started a C2 community, Love Is a Battlefield, which is dedicated to Carson/Journey/Mob-centric stories.. if you'd like to have any of your stories added, please let me know!

The lyrics are _Falling Down_ by _Ben Jelen._

* * *

_The simple truth is I'm falling, falling down_

_And I don't want to drag you through the bottom_

_We need to talk._

Jason stared at her for a moment, a million and one possibilities running through his mind. "Come on in," he said, moving out of the doorway. "What's going on?"

Courtney's eyes flitted around the room. "Where's Sam?" she asked.

"Upstairs. Would you rather talk somewhere else?"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine, I've should get used to her being here, right?" she asked, sitting down on the sofa.

Jason sat down next to her, noticing immediately that she visibly moved so they weren't touching. And she still hadn't looked him in the eyes. "What happened with Jax?"

"What happened with Sam?"

_Answering a question with a question._ Jason shrugged. "She threatened to move out," he said.

"Interesting choice of words."

"What?"

"Threatened. Was it a threat really? Or did she offer?"

"I guess it was an offer."

"And you don't want her to? You want her to stay here?"

"You know Sonny would never let her leave town," Jason pointed out.

"I didn't ask if Sonny wanted her to stay here."

Jason looked at the blonde sitting on his left. Her eyes were still looking anywhere but at him and her fingers were twisting nervously at the hemline of her shirt.

"Are you trying to start a fight with me?" No answer. "Hey." He guided her chin so that she was looking at him. "What happened with Jax, Courtney? Why are you so shaken up?"

"He thinks I'm making a mistake," she said finally. "I mean, I didn't expect him to give me his blessing or anything, but I also didn't expect him to look so hurt either."

"Why does it matter so much what Jax thinks?" Jason asked. "Courtney, look at me."

Courtney brought her gaze up to meet his. "Before he left, Jax kissed me," she admitted. "And I didn't expect it, but it still happened and I –"

"You kissed him back," Jason guessed.

She nodded. "I'm sorry Jase. I don't know why I didn't push him away sooner."

"Courtney, do you actually have feelings for Jax?"

"No," she said quickly. Too quickly for Jason's liking.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'd understand if you did," he started. "The two of you have spent a lot of time together over the past few months and it's not a far stretch to assume you care about him."

"So I should assume that you have feelings for Sam too?"

_Damn it._ "That's a different situation," Jason argued. Sam is only here because she needed a place to stay that was close to Sonny. There is nothing else going on."

"And I only spent time with Jax because it was a bet that would benefit the foundation." She sighed. She wasn't used to Jason talking so much, and she wasn't sure if she liked it.

"Are we fighting?"

Courtney was caught-off guard by the question. She looked up at Jason and saw he was smiling at her. "I don't know," she said, trying not to smile back. "Are we?"

Jason grinned and pulled her against him, settling the two of them back against the sofa. "I don't want to fight with you, we've done enough of that. I know you're not thrilled that Sam's here, but I can't have her leave now, not with the baby due so soon. Maybe once she has the baby, we can find someplace else for her to live."

"Sonny wouldn't like that very much," Courtney said reluctantly.

"Carly would." This elicited a giggle from Courtney.

"I haven't heard from Carly since this morning, that surprises me a little."

"Oh, she's already been here hinting around to Sam," Jason said. He kissed the crown of her head. "You know, there is one part of our lives that we haven't talked about yet," he said hesitantly.

"I'm tired of talking," Courtney said. "Yes, we've got a lot of problems to work through, but we've been back together for not even twenty-four hours, and I see a lot of fights in our future, so can we just enjoy today?" She looked up at him through her eyelashes and grinned. "Please?"

Jason rolled his eyes at the expression on her face. "One thing before I agree?"

"What's that?"

"Is Jax going to be a part of your life?"

"Not as much as he'd like to be, but yes, I mean, he is still a big part of my foundation. But that's it Jason. He's just a business partner, nothing more." She was trying to reassure herself just as much as him.

"I can handle that," Jason said, bringing her close for a kiss. Both of them tried to fight the suspicions in the back of their heads that the other was lying to them.

_Sit in front of me, turn around you'll see_

_I'm everything you want, all you'd ever need_

* * *

"Sonny! Where have you been? I've been trying to get a hold of you all day, why hasn't your cell phone been on?" Carly pounced on her husband the second he walked through the door.

Sonny held up his cell phone and inspected it. "Battery's dead," he announced, kissing his wife. "What's so urgent? Is everything okay?"

"Everything is great! Thing's couldn't be better!" Carly declared. "Guess what?"

"How about you just tell me," Sonny asked, pouring brandy into a glass.

"Courtney and Jason are back together!" She watched as he took a drink. "Hello? Did you hear what I just said?"

"I heard you," Sonny said, setting the glass down. "And how do you know this?"

"Because I walked in on the two of them at Courtney's this morning. Sonny, why aren't you smiling? This is what we've been waiting for."

"You've been waiting for this Carly, I'm letting them live their lives how they want. Who's to say that this wasn't just a one-night thing for them?"

"The fact that Courtney's over in his penthouse right now." She looked at Sonny, whose eyebrows were raised at her. "What? I was looking through the peephole," she said innocently.

Sonny rolled his eyes. "You need to find a hobby," he said lightly.

She pouted. "Why aren't you happier?" she asked.

"I'm saving my happiness until I hear it from those two that they are back together," Sonny said, taking Carly into his arms. "Now, you're not planning on sticking your nose into their business are you?" he asked.

"Sonny, she's my sister and he's my best friend, this is our business," she insisted.

"Carly." Sonny's voice had a hint of warning in it. "Let them sort things out themselves. Yes, it would be great if they were back together, but they do have a lot of things in their way right now. It'll be easier if you let them do it on their own," he said, stressing the last three words.

"Yeah, they have Sam in their way. Sonny, she can't stay there."

"That's not my choice to make," Sonny said. "That's between Sam and Jason."

"Courtney too. And she won't be happy with Sam there."

"I think right now, Sam isn't at the top of their worries," Sonny said. "What about the fact that Jason works for me? That's what drove them apart in the first place."

Carly thought for a moment. "I know!" she said, her eyes lighting up. "We could—"

Sonny covered her mouth. "We aren't going to do anything," he said firmly. "This is their fight, not ours."

"You can't stop me from offering advice," she said.

"You sound like Michael," he chided her. "I can take you away for a week or two and let them figure out what's going on, if that's what it takes for you to butt out."

"Well then fire up the jet," Carly teased. "But can we go someplace tropical?"

Sonny shook his head. "You're impossible. Where are the boys? I'm taking you guys out to lunch."

"You are?"

"How else am I going to keep you away from the peephole?"

* * *

"I'm hungry," Courtney announced, wrapping the bed sheet around her and sitting up. It was later that afternoon and she and Jason were lying in his bed. She shook Jason until he opened his eyes.

"You know where the kitchen is," he groaned.

"Yeah but I don't want to get dressed to go out there. All you have to do is throw some jeans on and bring me back some ice cream from the freezer."

"I don't have any ice cream."

"What? Jason, what's happened to you? No ice cream?" Courtney shook her head with mock disappointment. "You'll just have to go to Kelly's and get me some then."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Jason said, rolling over and burying his head under the pillow.

"Jason! I mean it, I'm really hungry!" she said, trying to pull the pillow away but he held on tight.

"Were you always this whiny?" he teased, peeking out from underneath the pillow. "Seriously, if you're that hungry, eat something other than ice cream."

"But I'm not hungry-hungry," she explained. "I'm ice-cream-hungry."

"Oh, by all means then, let me run right out," Jason said dryly. "Come here!" he said, grabbing her around the waist and tickling her.

"Stop!" she squealed. She tried to fend off his hands but she soon gave up, collapsing on the bed in a fit of giggles. "Fine, I give up!" she gasped. "I give up, you don't have to go get me the ice cream!" He stopped tickling her and she took a deep breath. "You could bring me some chili though." Her answer brought back the tickling and she squealed again. "Jason!"

By now he had her pinned underneath him and he grinned down at her. "I'll tell you what. We'll both get dressed, and go to Kelly's together, deal?"

"Deal," Courtney agreed, pulling him down to kiss him.

"I thought we were getting dressed," Jason murmured a few minutes later.

"Not so hungry anymore," Courtney managed to say between kisses.

"Jason!" The bedroom door swung open and Sam stood in its frame. "Oh! I'm sorry I—"

Jason and Courtney pulled apart quickly. "Sam, what is it?"

"I think something's wrong with the baby," she said, holding onto her stomach. "I don't think she's kicking, I think it's something else."

Jason was out of bed and getting dressed faster than Courtney had ever seen him move. "Okay, just let me get dressed and we'll go to the hospital. I'll be right out."

He looked back to the bed. "Court—"

"Go," she assured him. "I'm going to get dressed, and I'll get Sonny and we'll meet you at the hospital," she said. "I'll also call ahead and tell them that you're on the way."

"Thanks. I love you."

"I love you too." Her words were cut off as he shut the bedroom door on his way out. She got up and dressed quickly, grabbing the phone off the base on her way into the living room to find her shoes. As she dialed the hospital, she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if something went wrong with Sam's baby. She pushed the thought out of her mind and went across the hallway to Sonny and Carly's. Soon, the three of them were on their way to General Hospital.


	6. Let Me In

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself don't belong to me.

**_Author's Note: _**Here's the next chapter; I hope everyone enjoys it! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, especially AngelTears123 and Rheanne --- you guys spoil me with your reviews, but really, they mean a lot and are very appreciated! Hope this chapter flows well, but keep in mind, I took liberties with a lot of the medical stuff, and I'm not a doctor by any means so my medical knowledge is very limited.

Song lyrics are _Let Me In _by Save Ferris.

* * *

__

_It was all that I wanted from you_

_It was something you never knew_

_To let me in..._

Courtney smiled slightly as she peered through the glass window at the babies in the hospital nursery. There were five of them in their cribs, three girls and two boys and every single one of them looked perfect.

She couldn't stop staring at the babies. She watched as one of the mothers sat next to an incubator, cooing at her newborn. The look on her face was one of absolute joy, and Courtney found herself imagining she was that mother. She imagined fussing over her own baby, counting her fingers and toes, singing lullabies to her at night.

She bit her lip, coming back to reality. She wasn't going to get that chance, and now maybe Sam wouldn't either. When they had gotten to the hospital, Jason informed them that Sam had started having contractions and that her doctor was trying to stop them.

That was almost three hours ago and they were soon running out of options. If the contractions didn't stop soon, both Sam and her baby would be in trouble.

Courtney was torn. She hated to admit it, but while she would never wish the pain and hurt of losing a baby on anyone, no matter how much she disliked them, a part of her knew how much easier things would be if—well, if something happened.

Of course, no matter what she felt, she would never dare voice that opinion aloud, not like Carly did just minutes earlier. Thankfully, only Courtney had heard her, and she couldn't even imagine what would have happened if Sonny or even Jason had heard her.

"Hey." She was startled out of her thoughts as Jason came up next to her and the babies mesmerized him as well for a moment.

"Hey," she said softly. "How's Sam?"

Jason shook his head. "They couldn't slow the contractions so Dr. Meadows is getting ready to do a Cesarean."

"Oh God," Courtney murmured. "Jason, I'm sure she'll be okay, babies are born premature all the time, her due date was coming up in a few weeks so I'm sure there won't be anything to worry about."

Jason nodded, his eyes still fixed on the nursery window. "I've been looking for you to tell you, I should have known to come here first."

She smiled at him. "I can't help it," she confessed. "Watching them is soothing. They're so innocent and new and so content with themselves. I haven't felt that way in awhile."

"Same here," Jason agreed. He put an arm around her waist and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I ran out of the penthouse like I did," he said. "I wasn't thinking clearly. I heard Sam say something was wrong and I just reacted."

"It's okay, you were worried." She looked up at him. "Are they going to let you be in there with her?"

Jason shook his head. "Sonny's with her now. He's staying with her." It was hard for Courtney to decipher the tone of his voice, but by looking at his face, she could see he was disappointed.

"I thought Sam wanted you in there?" she questioned.

He shrugged, taking his eyes off the babies finally. "Sonny said he wanted to be there, and so Sonny's there. He's the father Courtney, I can't argue with him."

Courtney opened her mouth but shut it quickly without saying a word. Though he didn't come out and say it she knew Jason was upset. And as much as she hated to admit it, she knew he had a right to be. Jason had been with Sam throughout most of her pregnancy and it was natural for him to want to be there through the end of it.

A wave of anger surged through her as she thought of Sonny. He had been the one to put them all, especially Jason, in this situation. It had been his idea for Jason to take care of Sam, and now he was pushing Jason away from her.

Of course, Jason didn't tell her any of this, she knew him well enough to know that's what was happening. And while it should have made her happy, it was hard not to feel sympathetic to Jason's predicament.

"Court?"

"What?" Courtney turned to Jason, who was staring at her.

"You're a million miles away."

"Sorry." She managed a smile. "Were you saying something?"

"Yeah, I said we should go back and sit with Carly."

Courtney nodded. "Are you okay?" she asked, knowing she wasn't going to get a straight answer from him.

"Fine," he said, stealing one more look at the babies. "Come on."

"Okay," she said softly. They went back to the waiting room and Courtney sat down next to Carly while Jason went to talk to Sonny and the doctor.

"How are you doing?" Courtney asked.

"How am I supposed to be doing?" Carly hissed. "Tell me, because I have no idea. What's proper etiquette on how to behave when your husband's former mistress is in labor?"

Courtney smiled sympathetically and rested her hand on Carly's arm. "You're here, and that's a lot," she said.

"How's Jason?"

She shrugged. "He won't say it, but I know he wishes he was going to be there with Sam and not Sonny."

"I can't believe this. You know, I never thought of how this day would go. I thought if I didn't think about it, it wouldn't happen. Sam should have left town when she had the chance, none of us would be here right now, and no one—"

"Carly." Courtney sighed. Thankfully Carly didn't continue her ramble because Jason came over to them.

"Sam's in the delivery room now, she should have the baby any time," he said, sitting down. "We just have to wait."

"I'm going to call Leticia and check on the boys," Carly said, standing up and walking over to a corner of the waiting room.

"She doesn't seem too happy," Jason observed.

"Neither do you," Courtney said.

"I'm fine Courtney. I already told you that." His voice stayed calm and even.

She reached over and took his hand, holding it between both of hers. "You're really looking forward to being around this baby, aren't you?" she asked gently.

"Courtney..."

"No, don't push me away," Courtney said. "This is one of those things we need to talk about. I know you keep saying you're only doing this because Sonny asked you to, but admit it Jase, you've gotten attached."

"The baby might not make it Courtney."

The words were so low, she wasn't sure she heard him right. "What?"

"The baby's heartbeat is very irregular right now. There's a lot of distress and Sam's freaking out, so that's not helping things." Jason's eyes were straight ahead as he spoke. "That's why they're doing the Cesarean right now, but her chance of survival isn't the best."

Courtney didn't know what to say, she just rested her head on Jason's shoulder. "Sam's strong," she said finally. "And she's done everything right during this pregnancy because of you, so the baby's strong too. I'm sure everything will be fine."

Jason didn't answer her, but she felt his hand grip hers tighter. _If that was as much as he could open up to her, she would take it gladly_, Courtney thought to herself as they sat there quietly.

Half an hour later Sonny came out of the delivery room and the three of them stood up.

"Well?" Jason and Carly asked at the same time.

"It's a girl," Sonny said. He ran a hand through his dark hair. "But she's very weak and something's wrong. They wouldn't tell me what, but the doctors rushed her out of there as soon as they could."

"And Sam?"

Sonny shook his head. "She's lost a lot of blood, she's unconscious right now, but Dr. Meadows says she should be okay."

"That's good," Courtney said encouragingly.

Dr. Webber came out of the exam room and approached them.

"How's the baby?" Sonny asked immediately.

"Your daughter is a very sick little girl," Steven said. "Because she was born early, she's a little underweight, but luckily her vital organs are all formed."

"So what's wrong?" Jason asked.

"She has a rare blood disease. Right now, we're giving her antibiotics but if they don't appear to help quickly, a transfusion may be in order."

"Can I see her?" Sonny asked.

Steven nodded. "Come with me and I'll take you to her."

Courtney watched Jason as Sonny took Carly's hand and they followed Steven.

"Come on," she said. "Let's go get some air and give Sonny some time with the baby, then we'll go see her ourselves, okay?"

Jason shook his head. "Actually, I want to go see Sam," he said.

"Oh, okay," she said. "I guess I'll go call Dad and let him know what's going on, I don't think Sonny did."

"I'll just be a few minutes," Jason said. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and headed into Sam's recovery room.

Courtney watched him for a few minutes and then took her cell phone out of her purse and dialed Mike's number.

* * *

"Hey," Courtney said quietly, coming up behind Jason. They were back in front of the nursery windows. "Which one is she?"

"The one on the far left," Jason said. "Look how tiny she is. She looks strong, doesn't she? I mean, she doesn't look that sick."

Courtney slid her arms around him from behind and rested her chin on his shoulder. "She's beautiful," she agreed. "Where are Sonny and Carly?"

"Sonny's with Sam and Carly went home for a few hours, to check on the boys."

"Is Sam awake yet?"

Jason shook his head. "And Lila's antibiotics aren't working either, so Sonny's getting blood taken now. Sam's still too weak for them to draw from her."

"She'll be fine," Courtney said once more. "Both of them will be."

"You know, Sam said earlier today that the baby was kicking a lot more than she usually does," Jason said. "Maybe I should have brought her to the hospital then."

"Jason, no," Courtney said softly. "Babies kick all the time, there was no way you could have known something was wrong if Sam didn't say so."

"Still, even after she said that I never checked on her the rest of the afternoon," Jason said. "I should have at least done that."

"Hey." Courtney moved so that she was facing him. "Jase, listen to me, this isn't your fault okay? You couldn't have prevented this from happening; you did everything you could. Once you knew something was wrong, you got Sam here as fast as you could. You couldn't have done anymore."

"There must have been something I could have done," Jason insisted.

Courtney bit her lip. Though he didn't say it, she couldn't help but wonder if he thought that things would have happened differently if she hadn't been at the penthouse that afternoon.

"Everything's going to be okay," she whispered as they both turned back to the window.

"Thank you," Jason said, again gripping her hand. "For everything."

It was a simple gesture, very few words, but they meant the world to Courtney. She squeezed his hand back and smiled at him.

"You know, you could go home too if you wanted," he said. "You must be tired."

"I'm staying here with you," she said firmly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Well, how about we go get that coffee then?" Jason asked.

"Sounds good," Courtney agreed. They were halfway to the elevator when they heard Sonny's voice from the lab room.

"What do you mean I'm not the father?"


	7. Walls

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of General Hospital, as well as GH itself don't belong to me.

**_Author's Note: _**I know it's been a long time since I've updated anything, but writer's block combined with computer problems kept me away. I'm back now though, and hope you all like this chapter. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, I appreciate it so much!!

The song used is _Walls_ by _Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers._

* * *

_But you've got a heart so big it could crush this town_

_And I can't hold out forever _

_even walls fall down..._

Sonny's voice echoed through the hospital corridor, halting Jason and Courtney mid-step. They heard a crash come from within the exam room and headed towards the room to see what was happening.

"Sonny! Sonny calm down!" Carly pleaded as she watched her husband slam his fist onto the medical cart, sending supplies and instruments flying. She looked up as Jason and Courtney appeared in the doorway and with her eyes, asked Jason for help.

"What's going on?" Jason asked, looking at Sonny. Sonny just shook his head and turned away from everyone.

"After drawing Sonny's blood I had it processed and from the results I've looked at, Sonny's DNA does not match that of Sam's baby," Steven explained.

"Do the test again," Sonny demanded.

"The results are one-hundred percent conclusive," Steven said. "I'm sorry."

"What about the baby?" Jason asked. "What can you do right now to keep her from getting sicker?"

"The antibiotics are helping some, and we can still do the transfusion using blood from the blood bank," Steven answered.

"Do the test again," Sonny repeated. Carly looked at Steven. _Please_, she mouthed at Steven, who nodded," he said. "Excuse me." He left the examination room, leaving the four of them in there.

"Come on," Jason said to Sonny.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said.

"Come on," Jason repeated. "We're just going out into the hallway. They have to get this room cleaned up." He led Sonny out of the room.

"I don't understand," Carly said, looking at Courtney. "Do you think Sam knows Sonny isn't the father of her child?"

"I don't know Carly," Courtney sighed. "I don't want to believe she did. That she did all of this to hold onto Sonny no matter what."

"You're too nice," Carly said with a shake of her head. "That's exactly what Sam did. She knew Sonny would never turn his back on one of his children so she knew he would never turn his back on her."

"Maybe she really didn't know," Courtney protested gently.

"This really is the answer to our prayers," Carly said. "I mean, this is good, right? Sonny and Jason don't have to take care any of this anymore."

"I guess," Courtney said quietly, closing her eyes. She understood why Carly was happy that Sonny no longer had a child with Sam, but she still couldn't help but wonder if Jason's ties were cut or not. If Sam didn't know who the father of her baby was, would Jason still want to help her raise her? And then of course, there was still the main question.

Who was the father of Sam's baby?

Courtney had a feeling she already knew the answer. "Come on Carly, let's go," she said, as they too, left the exam room.

After Carly had gone to find Sonny and Jason and Courtney finally had a moment to her self, she went out into the general waiting room to call Jax. She wasn't sure if it was her place to call him or not, but she knew he needed to be there.

"Hello Gorgeous," Jax answered. "I didn't expect to hear from you so soon. Problems with Jason already?"

"Jax, hi," she said. She looked around nervously making sure no one was around. "Um, I need you to come to GH as soon as you can."

"Why? Courtney, are you okay? Did something happen?"

"No no, I'm fine," she assured him. "It's Sam. She had her baby a few hours ago."

"Already? How is she?"

"She's not doing so well," Courtney admitted. "Neither is the baby."

"That's awful," Jax commented. "But I don't understand why I need to be there. I'm sure I'm the last person Sonny would want to see right now."

"Sonny isn't the father of Sam's baby," Courtney said.

"What?"

"They drew Sonny's blood so that they could do a transfusion and his and the baby's DNA aren't the same," she explained.

"I'm on my way," Jax said.

"What are you doing?" Jason asked, coming up behind her. He saw she was holding her phone. "Who was that?"

"Jax," she admitted.

Jason nodded. "Yeah I guess he should be here." He ran his hand through his hair as he sighed.

"Jase, I don't understand. I thought you saw the results of the paternity test. You _said _Sonny was the father. Were you lying?"

"No," he said, sitting down and motioning for her to follow. "No, I swore those tests said it was Sonny. Do you think I would have gone along with keeping someone from their child intentionally?"

"Of course not," she said immediately. "I just wonder what happened, that's all. Where are Sonny and Carly?"

"Carly convinced him to go home for a little bit."

"Good, maybe he'll rest for a little while."

"I think we all need a few hours of rest," Jason said. "What do you say? Want me to drive you home?"

"Actually," Courtney hesitated. "I think I'm going to wait for Jax, if you don't mind."

"I'll wait with you," Jason said readily. Once again they sat down in the waiting room. "So do you really think Jax is the father?" he asked.

Courtney shrugged. "He has to be, unless there was someone else Sam was sleeping with that we don't know about. Do you think Sam knows this?"

"No," he said automatically. "Sam had to be positive Sonny was the father. She spent too much time worrying about protecting her baby to know it wasn't him."

"Sam was a con-artist though," Courtney argued. "She used to lie for a living."

"She wouldn't lie about this, okay?"

"Alright," Courtney said quietly. She looked down at her hands. The elevator doors opened and Jax stepped out into the room.

"I'm going to go check on Sam again," Jason said, without looking at Jax. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Hey," Courtney said to Jax. "Have you talked to Dr. Webber yet?"

"I had him paged as soon as I got here, he told me to meet him up here." Jax sat down next to her. "What's wrong with the baby?" he asked.

Before Courtney could begin to explain, Steven came out into the lobby and pulled Jax into his office.

* * *

"Okay, I know my cooking isn't as skilled as yours is, but I did manage to—" Carly stopped talking as she saw that Sonny was asleep on their bed. She set the tray down on the desk and walked over to him. It looked as though he had fallen asleep in the middle of undressing. A smile crept onto her face as she finished loosening his tie and took his shoes off. She grabbed the quilt that was on the end of the bed and smoothed it over him. When she was satisfied she settled herself into the overstuffed armchair in the corner and picked up a magazine.

She couldn't concentrate on it though; her attention kept drifting back to her sleeping husband. She had no idea how to support him through this. He had spent the last eight months thinking he was going to have a daughter and now all of a sudden, he wasn't. He had every right to be angry and to want answers, but on the other hand, shouldn't he be relieved? Carly was. She wasn't sure she could admit that to Sonny but she could to herself. She was happy that he wasn't going to have a child with another woman but would he be angry that she felt that way? It would be one thing if it was his daughter and God forbid, she didn't make it, but that wasn't the case.

"Carly?"

The hushed tone snapped Carly out of her thoughts and she automatically moved to the bed. "I thought you were sleeping," she said softly.

"I can't sleep with you staring at me," he said, but he didn't sound annoyed. "You don't have to baby sit me."

"I know," she said, placing her hand on his back. "But I'm not going anywhere." She curled up next to him and waited for him to fall back asleep. For once, she knew it was better to keep her opinions to herself.

* * *

"How's Sam?" Courtney asked as Jason came out of the hospital room.

Jason shook his head. "She's still not awake. I'm worried Courtney, she lost a lot of blood."

"She'll be okay." Courtney tried to sound reassuring but she didn't know how convincing she was.

"Jax?" Jason asked. Courtney nodded.

"He's Lila's father," she confirmed. "He's in the nursery with her right now."

"Is she okay? Did they do a transfusion?"

"They're getting ready to do it right now. She's going to be okay."

"Good, good." Jason sighed. "You've got to be exhausted, Court," he said.

"I am," she admitted. "You wanna get out of here for awhile?" She was relieved when he nodded his head in agreement. "Good, let's go."

Arm-in-arm they headed towards the elevator and headed to Courtney's loft. As hard as she tried, Courtney couldn't stay awake and fell asleep in the car halfway home. Tired as he was, Jason didn't wake her up. Instead he carried her up to the loft and settled her in bed, climbing in next to her. Within minutes, they were both sound asleep.

* * *

Yay! Good to finally have that chapter done. I was just wondering.. has anyone ever come across a fanfic where Jason regains his memory from before his car accident? A friend and I were talking about the what-ifs that would bring into current storylines and such and I was wondering if anyone ever tried to attempt writing that.


	8. Stillness of Heart

**_Disclaimer:_** The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself don't belong to me.

**_Author's Note:_** Well, good news and bad news. I have this story all mapped out until the end and there are only 5 more chapters planned, including this one. I'd like to have this story done by the end of the year, but we'll see. Now, as for this chapter, you're going to either love it or hate it, but it's the only way I could see to push the story forward in the way I wanted it to go. The next few chapters are going to be pretty angst-y; you've been warned. I'll try to throw in some fluff where I can, just please bare with me and stay along for the ride. You've made it this far you know you want to see how it ends!!

The song is _Stillness of Heart _by _Lenny Kravitz._

* * *

_All that I want is stillness of heart_

_So I can start to find my way_

_Out of the dark_

_And into your heart…_

The shrill ringing of the phone startled Jason awake and he sat up in bed, momentarily confused. A glance at the clock next to the bed showed it to be a few hours past midnight. He fumbled for the phone on the nightstand, knocking over several things in the process. "Morgan," he answered finally. He glanced over at Courtney and was amused to see she hadn't even stirred with all the commotion. He had forgotten how sound a sleeper she was.

"What? Damn it, when?" He started to shake Courtney awake as he became more alert. She sat up in bed and looked at him strangely.

_What's wrong? _She mouthed at him but he only shook his head as he listened intently to the voice on the other end of the phone. "All right, thanks for calling."

"What? What is it?" Courtney asked as he put the phone down.

Across town at the penthouse Sonny had just woken Carly up as well.

"I can't believe it," Carly said softly, taking the coffee mug Sonny handed her.

"I know," Sonny said, sitting down heavily next to her. "Elizabeth said she went quickly and peacefully. In her sleep."

"Sam's dead," Carly murmured, her tone of voice conveying that she really didn't believe the words. She rested her head on Sonny's shoulder. "Her poor baby."

"Well, Lila has Jax now," Sonny said. "Elizabeth said he's her father."

"Jax?" Carly arched one eyebrow. "I guess I'm really not that surprised." She put her coffee mug down on the table. "Sonny, I'm sorry," she said, placing a hand over his. "I know you cared about Sam and I know you still care about Lila."

Sonny shrugged and raised his own coffee mug to his mouth. Carly frowned as she realized it filled more with whiskey than with coffee. "I'm not Lila's father so it doesn't matter much now," he said.

"Well, do you want to go to the hospital?"

"Nothing to do there," Sonny said, standing up. "There's nothing we can do now Carly, you may as well go back to bed."

"What about you?"

"I'm not tired, I'll be in my office going over some paperwork."

"Sonny—" Carly began to protest but Sonny held up his hand.

"I'm fine Carly, I'll come to bed soon." He pressed a kiss against the side of her head before guiding her to the stairs. She watched unsurely as he shut the door to his office before reluctantly heading back to the bedroom.

* * *

"I'm going to go talk to the doctor," Jason said as he and Courtney stepped off of the elevator and onto the Maternity floor of GH.

She nodded. "I'm going to go see how Jax is," she said. She squeezed his hand before they took off in separate directions.

The ride over had been a quiet one. Actually, they had pretty much been quiet since Jason had told her about Sam. They had both wanted to come to the hospital, him to see what he could do in making arrangements and her to see how Jax was.

"Hey," she said softly, pausing in the doorway of the nursery. Jax was sitting by the window holding Lila.

He looked up. "Hey," he said back, the surprise evident in his voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Jason wanted to talk to Sam's doctors and I came with him." She smiled down at the sleeping baby. "She's going to be blonde like you," she said.

"Do you want to hold her?" Jax asked, standing up. "Why am I asking, of course you do. Here." He handed her the baby, who only stirred slightly before settling comfortably in Courtney's arms.

"She's so beautiful," Courtney whispered, holding her a little closer. A frown settled on her slight features. "Did Sam even get to see her?"

Jax nodded. "Sam woke up for a little bit and I talked to her. She had no idea I was Lila's father, I believed her when she said it." His voice turned softer. "She got to hold Lila, she was so in awe of her."

"I can see why, this little girl is absolutely perfect." Courtney looked down at her again. "What happened?" she asked softly. "How did it happen?"

"There was internal bleeding that the doctors didn't catch," Jax explained. "By the time they realized it, it was too late and there was nothing they could do. It all happened so quickly."

Courtney nodded. "At least she got to see Lila," she said.

"Courtney what am I going to do?" Jax asked suddenly. "This was the last thing I expected to happen today. All of a sudden I have a daughter, and I'm the one that has to take care of her and I don't know how to do that Courtney. I can't do this. I don't know how to be a father. I don't think I can do this myself."

"Jax, you'll be a great father," Courtney said kindly. "You're a wonderful person, you've got a warm, loving heart, and while you may not know what to do, you'll learn. You'll see. You and Lila will be just fine. I promise."

"Maybe," Jax said, a trace of doubt in his voice. "Will you help me?"

Courtney looked up, startled. "Jax, I—"

"Think about it Courtney," he said. "Courtney, we could do this together. We could raise Lila. This is your chance to be a mother."

She set Lila down in the crib, arranging the blanket around her. "Jax, you're tired, you're stressed, you don't even know what you're saying right now."

"Yes I do. Courtney, will you marry me?"

Courtney looked up in shock. Jax's face was serious. "I—" she didn't know what to say.

"Just think about it, okay?" Jax asked. "You know how I feel about you Courtney, I think this could be the beginning of something really good. For both of us."

Again, she didn't know what to say. So she decided to bail. "I need to go," she said. She turned and rushed out of the room, nearly colliding with Jason.

"You okay?" Jason asked, steadying her with one hand so she didn't fall.

"Yeah, fine," she said hastily. "I was just coming to find you."

"Oh. You ready to go?"

"Are you all done with the doctors?"

He nodded. "Yeah. They're going to release Sam to me, I figure Sonny won't want to arrange her funeral so I'm going to do it. Service is set for Friday." Jason's voice was void of emotion and he wasn't looking directly at Courtney. "There's really nothing else to do here, so I guess we can go."

"Okay." She nodded and reached for his hand but he moved it away before she could. They left the hospital and Jason's pace was so fast that Courtney almost had to run to keep up.

"Are you okay?" she asked when they got back to his penthouse.

"Yeah."

She sighed. "Then why won't you look at me?" she asked.

"I'm just tired, okay?" he snapped. He sighed and dropped down on the couch.

"I know," Courtney said, trying to soothe him. "Come on, let's just go to bed, the sun's just starting to come up so we can get a few hours of sleep and then start making the arrangements, okay?"

Jason shook his head. "You go on, I'm going to make a few phone calls. Someone has to tell Danny about Sam. I have to make sure he's taken care of."

"You don't have to do that right now. Please, just get some sleep and then I'll help you."

"No. Court, just—" he sighed. "I need to be alone right now," he said.

"Alright." Courtney tried not to feel hurt but she couldn't help it. "I'll be in the bedroom if you change your mind," she said. She waited a second to see if he'd answer her but he didn't. He just picked up the phone and started dialing.

* * *

She emerged from the bedroom several hours later, only because Carly had called her and asked her to come over. She was surprised to see Jason had fallen asleep on the couch and decided to leave him there without waking him.

"Hey," she said, entering Carly's living room. "How are you guys doing?"

Carly shook her head as she handed Courtney a cup of coffee. "I'm okay. Sonny's locked himself in his office with a bottle of whiskey. He won't talk to me. That's why I asked you to come over, I thought maybe he'd talk to you."

"Yeah well, maybe you can talk to Jason then. He wouldn't talk to me last night," Courtney said.

"God this is crazy Court," Carly said, running a hand through her hair. "I never imagined things would turn out like this."

"None of us did," Courtney commiserated. "Here, I'll see if I can get Sonny to talk to me. I'll take him some coffee."

"Good luck," Carly said. "While you're in there, I'm going to jump in the shower really quick."

Courtney knocked on the office door. "Sonny?" she called. "It's me, Courtney." She paused. "I brought you some coffee." No answer. "I've got some bagels too. The ones with sesame seeds that you like." Still no answer. "Carly's not with me, she's in the shower." She grinned to herself as she heard his footsteps and the lock being turned.

She stepped into the room and noticed the shades were all drawn and a half-empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the desk. "If you're going for dramatics here, you've definitely got it down, but this Rhett Butler bit Sonny? It's a little over the top."

"What do you want Courtney?" he asked.

"I wanted to see how you were," she said. "I know yesterday was really hard and I was worried about you."

"I'm fine." He laughed shortly. "It couldn't be much better, could it? It definitely can't be much worse."

Courtney sat down next to him. "I'm sorry Sonny," she said. "I don't know what else I can say."

He shook his head. "There really isn't a lot you can say," he said. "The next few days will be rough, but we'll all get through." He took a drink of the coffee. "How's Carly? I kind of shut her out last night."

"She's okay. She's worried about you, that's all."

"I'll talk to her in a little bit. How's Jason?"

She shook her head. "Shutting me out like you did Carly. Sonny, I think he's still blaming himself for what happened."

"It's not his fault, it just happened."

"I tried telling him that." She paused. "He was really close to Sam. I don't know how to help him through this," she admitted.

Sonny squeezed her hand. "You guys will be okay," he said. "We'll all get through this. Together."

She rolled her eyes. "I never knew you were so cheesy," she chided. "But I like the sentiment," she added.

"Good." He finished off his coffee. "Well, let's get out of this room," he said. "I'm starving and I don't want Carly anywhere near that kitchen."

"Hey," Carly said, coming down the stairs. She smiled at Sonny. He smiled back.

"I'm going to go make breakfast," he said, kissing her on the cheek. He disappeared into the kitchen.

"He'll be okay," Courtney said. She sighed. "But there's something I need to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

Before Courtney could answer Jason opened the door and came in. "I thought you'd be here," he said, half-smiling at her. "Morning Carly."

"Morning Jase." Carly offered him a smile. "Sonny's in the kitchen making breakfast," she said. She waited until he went into the other room before turning back to Courtney. "So what were you saying?"

She hesitated, looking towards the closed kitchen door. "Jason and I went to the hospital after we heard about Sam and I was talking to Jax and he asked me to marry him," she said quietly.

"What!" Carly covered her mouth. "Courtney, how the hell did that happen?"

"He freaked out about raising Lila. He said he wanted me to help him with her. Be her mother, that kind of thing. I thought he was joking, but he wasn't Carly. He was completely serious."

"Oh my God. What did you say? You told him no, right?"

"I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I just left."

"Courtney, you need to say no. What about Jason?"

"Well of course I'm going to say no, but Carly, I don't want to hurt Jax any more than I have to."

"I can't believe he put you in that situation," Carly fumed. "What did Jason say when you told him."

Courtney hesitated. "I haven't brought it up to Jason," she confessed.

Carly narrowed her eyes. "Don't you think that's something you should tell him?"

"Not at the time, no. Carly, he's got enough going on right now, if I told him this he'd just get angry and lash out at Jax." Courtney sighed and closed her eyes. "How is it possible that in 3 days our lives have been completely turned upside down?"

"I don't know," Carly said. "We'll get it all sorted out soon enough though."

"You sound like Sonny now," Courtney noted. Her head swiveled back to the kitchen doors. "Think they'll let us in there yet?" she asked.

"Only one way to find out," Carly said. As they came closer they could hear muffled voices through the thick oak doors, and it sounded as though the two were arguing.

"You don't get it Sonny!" They opened the door as Jason was speaking. "Maybe I could have prevented this from happening. Maybe if Courtney hadn't been over I would have paid more attention to what Sam had said about the baby kicking and would have checked on her to make sure she was okay."

"Ahem." Carly cleared her throat, causing both men to turn towards them.

"Courtney." Jason sighed at the look on her face. "I didn't mean—"

She shook her head. "It's okay, don't explain," she said softly. "I'm going to go," she said, with a look towards Carly.

"Courtney, don't," Jason protested, striding towards her, but she was already backing out of the kitchen.

She was gathering her things in the living room when Carly found her. "Court, come on, don't leave," she said.

"I'm fine Carly. I just need some time, okay?" she asked. "I need to clear my head. He does too."

"All right, but don't go and do anything foolish like accepting Jax's proposal," Carly warned.

This time it was Jason's turn to eavesdrop. "What proposal?"

* * *

Wow, that was a long chapter. Longer than I thought it would be at least. Let me know what you guys think! 


	9. This Love

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself don't belong to me.

**_Author's note: _**Okay, the real author's note is at the end of the chapter. So instead, up here I'll just say thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, I really appreciate it! I'll also give you this random fact… Did anyone else know that Steve Burton's actual first name is Jack and that Steve is his middle name? Oh yeah, and his wife? Looks an awful lot like Courtney. LOL, it's the little things that amuse me people, sorry!

Song credit goes to Maroon 5, the song is _This Love._

_This love have taken its toll on me  
__She said goodbye too many times before  
__Her heart is breaking in front of me  
__I have no choice, 'cause I won't say goodbye anymore…_

"What proposal?"

"Great," Courtney muttered at the same time as she heard Carly say "oops". "This day can't possibly get any better, can it?"

"What proposal?" Jason repeated.

"Last night at the hospital Jax proposed to me," Courtney said with a sigh, bracing herself for whatever happened next.

Jason just stared. "Okay, why am I just hearing about this now?" he asked slowly.

"Because it's not important." _And you were already not talking to me, _she added silently. "Jason, I didn't say yes."

"But you didn't say no either," Carly piped up. Both Courtney and Jason threw glares at her. "Well you didn't!"

Jason grabbed Courtney's elbow and guided her out of the penthouse and across the hallway, leaving Carly to look through the peephole.

"Okay, do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"Do you want to tell me to my face that you think I'm responsible for Sam?"

Jason sighed. "That's not what I said in there."

"No? That's what I heard." Courtney turned to face him. "How can I get you to see that nothing that happened is our fault? Neither of us could have done anything different that would have saved Sam."

Jason shook his head. "I could have. I could have at least checked on her to see if she was okay or needed anything. If I hadn't had other things on my mind, I would have done that."

"You mean if you hadn't been thinking about me, or if we hadn't slept together, then Sam would still be alive?" Courtney tried to keep the hurt out of her voice but she couldn't.

"Courtney stop," Jason pleaded gently. "That's not what I meant at all."

"But that's what you're saying!" she protested.

"No! It's not!" He dropped down on the sofa and held his head in his hands. Courtney, I love the fact that I spent all day thinking about you yesterday. I love that we're together."

"Then how can you—"

"It's not you," he said. "I've been preoccupied with so many things lately that I'm starting to lose control of my surroundings. I messed up yesterday, I should have checked on Sam."

Courtney sat down next to him. "Jason, Sam came and got you as soon as she thought something was wrong. You did everything you could. She went into labor; you wouldn't have been able to stop that from happening. And you wouldn't have been able to stop the bleeding. What do you think you could have done that would have saved her?"

"I could have done something," he said stubbornly.

Courtney sighed and rubbed at her eyes tiredly. "Your feelings for Sam went past just taking care of her for Sonny, didn't they?" she asked.

Jason was silent for a minute and then looked up at her. "She was a friend," he said finally.

Courtney nodded. "What can I do Jason?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "You can not marry Jax, that's a start."

A smile tugged at her lips. "I'm not planning on it," she said. "I just didn't know what to do when he asked me, so I ran out of the room."

"Why didn't you just say no?"

Courtney opened her mouth and then realized she didn't know what to say. "I'm not going to say yes," she repeated weakly, praying he would accept her answer.

But he didn't. "You keep saying that, but Courtney, you didn't say no." Jason stood up and began pacing.

"I know," was all she could think of to say as she watched him.

He sat back down again. "It's ironic, isn't it?" he asked. "Here I was supposed to be the one raising Lila and now you're being handed the chance to." Courtney looked up in surprise at his words. "That's what this is about, isn't it?"

"I guess so," Courtney admitted, surprising herself. She closed her eyes. "When I held her Jason, it was incredible. She wasn't even mine, but holding her felt so comfortable. So right. I looked down at her and she was looking at me with such trust in her eyes it was exactly how I imagined holding my own daughter. Our daughter."

Jason inched an arm around her, pulling her closer. "I'm sorry Courtney," he said quietly. "I know how much you wanted our baby and every day I wish things had been different for us."

"She'd be almost a year old now," Courtney said, lacing her fingers through his. "Can you imagine how this place would have looked all cluttered with toys?"

"Of course you do," she answered her own question softly. "You and Sam had everything that little girl would have needed."

Jason wasn't sure what to say. Courtney never really talked openly about their baby and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond. He knew Courtney wanted to be a mother more than anything, and while he wasn't able to give that to her, Jax was practically handing that chance to her on a silver platter. Of course it was something she would consider.

"Now I understand why you wanted to help Sam," she said, breaking the silence. "I finally get it."

"Do you want to accept Jax's proposal?" Jason asked before he could stop himself.

There was a long pause. "I don't love Jax," was her answer.

"But with him your life would be easier," he confirmed. And it would be. If she was with Jax, she wouldn't have to worry about how dangerous his job was, or constantly waiting for the next time he would be arrested.

"Hey." Courtney grazed her knuckles against the side of his face. "Who said I want easy?" she asked.

"You deserve easy," he said firmly. "You deserve everything that Jax can give you that I can't."

Courtney's head snapped up. "Are you breaking up with me already?" she asked incredulously. This was a far cry from the Jason she had run into on the docks not a week before.

Jason took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I'm giving you an out if you want to take it," he said. "This is your decision to make, not mine."

"You would let me go. Just like that?" she asked in disbelief.

"I just want you to be happy. If that means Jax and Lila, then yes, I'll step aside."

Courtney stood up then. "All right then. I need to go."

"Go?" Jason echoed.

She nodded. "I'm going to go see Jax. And I'm going to tell him I can't marry him."

"Wait." Jason stopped her before she got to the door. "What I said over at Carly and Sonny's—"

Courtney shook her head. "It's okay, it's over," she said with a slight smile. "I'll be back in a little bit." She slipped out the door, smiled at Max, who was at his post, and waved at the door to the other penthouse, where Carly was no doubt still looking through the peephole.

"How is she?" Courtney asked, knocking slightly on the door of the room Jax and Lila were in.

Jax looked up. "She's getting stronger, the doctors are positive she's going to be a healthy little girl."

"That's great," she said sincerely. "And how are you doing?"

"Pretty good actually." Jax put Lila back in her crib. "I just spoke with Jason a little bit ago," he said, leading Courtney out into the hallway.

"You did?" Courtney tried to muffle her surprise. "Why?"

"He called to tell me that he wanted me to have all of the things he and Sam had bought for the baby," Jax explained. "That way, in some sense, Lila would have something from her mother."

Courtney found herself smiling. "That's really sweet," she said.

"Have you given any thought to our last conversation?" Jax asked.

She nodded slowly. "Jax, you know I can't marry you," she said gently.

"Sure you can," he said easily. "You and I would be great together Courtney."

Courtney shook her head. "Would you really marry me knowing that I love someone else?"

Jax nodded. "You don't really love him Court," he said. "You're just afraid to let go of the past and move forward."

Courtney shook her head. "That's not true and you know it," she said, but Jax just shrugged.

"You care about me, we both know that," he said. "It would only be a matter of time before you fell in love with me for real."

"I love Jason," she said firmly.

"Will you still love him the next time he gets arrested? Or when he finally goes to prison for good? Will you still love him when he lets you down yet once again?"

"Jax, stop!" Courtney said. "We had this fight already, when I told you I was back with Jason. We don't need to have it again. I already told you, I won't marry you, can we just leave it at that?"

"No," Jax said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her closer. "We can't." Leaning down, he kissed her full on the lips, and try as she did, Courtney felt herself responding.

"See?" he said smugly, as he pulled away. "I think you're feelings for me are a little more than just friendly, wouldn't you say?"

Before she could stop herself, Courtney reached out and slapped him across the face. "How can you be like this?" she asked. "How can you have such disregard for everything I've just said to you?"

"I get whatever it is I want at whatever cost. You know that Courtney, you've always known that."

"You're not going to get me," she said sadly. She turned to leave, but once again, he grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him.

"Maybe not, but remember this. From now on, every time you kiss Jason, you're going to remember the kiss I just gave you, and you're going to remember that some part of you wanted that kiss, and that same part still wants me."

Courtney didn't say anything; she just glared at him. Yanking her arm out of his grasp she just shook her head, turned on her heel, and walked away.

Outside in her car, she rested her head on the steering wheel. She could still feel Jax's kiss on her lips. She picked her head up and tried to turn the key in the ignition but her hands were shaking so hard that finally she gave up in frustration.

Why did she still respond to him when he kissed her? Was Jax right? Was she trying to deny any feelings she had for him?

She loved Jason, she knew that wholeheartedly.

Was it possible that maybe she was in love with two men at the same time?

No. Absolutely not.

But she kissed Jax back today. And the other day at Kellys.

That doesn't mean she loves him, does it?

Courtney squeezed her temples and sighed in frustration. Her mind was going a million miles an hour in a thousand different directions. A few deep breaths later and she knew what she needed to do.

She fumbled through her purse until she found her cell phone and dialed the one person she knew would understand. Well, maybe not understand, but still the only person she could think to call.

"Carly?" she said a few moments later. "I need your help."

****

**_A.N.: _**Okay, so that chapter killed me… kind of took me in a direction I really hadn't planned on going in this story, but I think it'll work. I know I said in the last chapter that I only had 4 chapters left, but now because of this one, I have to add another chapter. Don't worry though… I still fully intend to finish this completely by the end of the year so I can turn my focus back to my other story. As always, let me know what you think!


	10. Edge of a Broken Heart

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself, don't belong to me.

**_Author's Note: _**Once again, a million thank yous to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this, you all rock. You really do. Here we are, chapter 10, only 2 more chapters after this… maybe an epilogue, or possibly, a sequel to this story, but I'm not sure yet. I'm really anxious to get back to my other story, so we'll see. Anyways, here we go. Oh, before that though, I know that my Jax portrayal in the last chapter might have been a little out of character, but I couldn't help that, I needed him to be a jerk to move my story along, don't get me wrong, I love Jax, but just not in this story.

Song credit goes to Vixen, and is _Edge of a Broken Heart._ Gotta love the 80's girl rock.

* * *

_I've been living on the edge of a broken heart_  
_I don't wanna fall, I don't wanna crawl…_

"No way. Absolutely not." Carly stared at her best friend as though she were crazy.

"Carly please." Courtney sighed. "I need to do this. And I need you to help me."

"Help you run away?" Courtney was crazy of that Carly was convinced. "Right, because Jason and Sonny will be really happy with me then." She crossed her arms in front of her. "Not going to happen Court."

"I'm not running away," Courtney protested. "I'm going to New York to hold some meetings for the foundation." What she didn't tell Carly was that she could easily send her assistant in her place.

"Yeah okay. How long are you going to be there?"

Courtney cast her eyes downward. "I don't know," she said. "Carly, I just need some time."

"_With _Jason. Not without him."

"Time by myself," Courtney clarified. "I need to figure some things out, and this is the perfect opportunity for me to do that."

"I can't believe you're running away," Carly's rant continued as though she didn't even hear Courtney. "You guys are so close to getting back together, I thought you guys _were _back together, but here you are, planning on leaving town?" She shook her head. "I'm not helping you. Forget it."

"Could you shut up for a minute and listen to me?" Courtney asked impatiently. She softened her voice at the look on Carly's face. "I'm sorry."

"I'm listening."

Courtney found herself explaining what had happened with Jax; all the while praying that the information didn't ever get back to Jason, though she knew it wasn't likely.

"What a jackass," Carly said sympathetically. "I warned you about him from the beginning though, didn't I? I told you he wasn't after anything other than—"

"Carly!"

Carly stopped. "I still don't understand though. You love Jason, you said so yourself."

"I know. And I do. But right now, I'm so confused. What if Jax was right and I do think about him every time I'm with Jason? That's not fair to Jason or to me. I'll constantly be looking over my own shoulder, watching every little thing I say or do to make sure I don't say something about it, or something that Jason could take the wrong way. And how can I expect him to live with me acting like that when I don't even want to deal with it?"

Carly looked at her blankly. "Still not following Honey."

"I didn't expect you to understand, believe me, I knew better than that." Courtney sighed. "Just trust me when I say I need to get away for a few weeks at least so that I can clear my head and my conscience, and come back here to work on getting back together with Jason. If he'll still take me when I come back, that is."

"Oh he'll still take you. That doesn't mean I think you should leave or even understand why you think you should." It was Carly's turn to sigh. "But what do you need me to do?"

Courtney smiled gratefully. "I need you to clear a flight plan with Sonny's pilot for me. I need to leave as soon as possible because the meetings start tomorrow morning."

"You're not staying for Sam's funeral?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

She shook her head. "I know I should be, for the sake of both Sonny and Jason, but I can't."

"All right," Carly said as she reached for her cell phone. "I'll call the pilot right now and then call you as soon as I have the information."

"Thank you Carly."

"Don't thank me just yet. I still can't believe I'm helping you do this."

Courtney smiled. "I'll be back Carly, I promise. As soon as I can."

"Mmhmm." Carly just shook her head. "Go on home and pack. I'll call you in a few minutes. I love you."

"Love you too." She gave her best friend a hug and then left for the loft.

* * *

Two short hours later, Courtney was on Sonny's jet, waiting for them to take off. She sat down on the leather couch and picked up a magazine that was lying on it. She flipped through it absentmindedly, waiting.

"So were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?"

She grinned and tossed the magazine aside, thinking to herself, _right on time._ She stood up and shook her head. "Come on, I knew Carly would call you. I was just waiting for you to show up."

"Well here I am." Jason walked closer. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

"I'm going to New York to meet with some prospective investors," Courtney explained. "I need to be prepared for the very likely chance that Jax is going to be severing all connections to the foundation."

"Yeah? It kinda looks like you're just skipping out on town. And me."

"Jason." Courtney just shook her head. "That's not what this is," she said, trying to sound reassuring.

He didn't look convinced. "Are you meeting Jax in New York?"

Courtney laughed before she could stop herself. "No, trust me. I don't think I'll be seeing him for a long time."

"Went that well?"

She nodded. "It's okay though, I told him everything he needed to hear."

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're ready to go whenever you are, Ms. Matthews," the pilot said, standing in the doorway.

"Thank you, I just need a few more minutes." The pilot disappeared.

"Court, don't do this," Jason said.

"I have to," she said walking over to him. "I'll be home soon," she promised, wrapping her arms around his waist. "And I'll call you as soon as I get there, and every night if it makes you feel any better."

Jason shook his head. "I don't think you should go," he said stubbornly. "Running away isn't going to solve anything."

"You sound like Carly, Jason I'm not running away!" Courtney pulled away. "How can I convince you of that?"

"Stay."

"I can't."

"Then tell me the truth, stop lying to me!"

"I'm not lying to you Jason, I swear."

"Yes you are, and if you don't think so, then you're lying to yourself!" Jason ran his hand through his hair. "Admit it Courtney, admit that part of the reason you're leaving is because you're too afraid to deal with any of this right now!"

"Fine! You're right Jason, I don't want to deal with any of this. I don't want to deal with the fact that part of you still holds me responsible for Sam, I don't want to deal with the fact that if we're together, inevitably, we're going to fight about your job, and I don't want to deal with the fact that I might be the one breaking your heart this time!"

Jason looked at her. "Do you feel better now?"

"What?"

"Now that you've told the truth, do you feel better?"

She felt a smile tug at her lips. "A little, maybe."

"Good. Now c'mere." He took her hand and pulled her back to him. "Listen to me. I don't blame you for what happened to Sam, I really don't. And I know we're going to fight about my job sooner or later, but Courtney, you're not going to break my heart."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. We're for real this time Courtney. I told you that on the docks the other night. That night when I held you I knew that I wasn't going to be without you ever again, okay? You felt it too I know you did. Right?" Courtney nodded. "Alright then. Go."

She looked up at him in surprise. "Go?"

He nodded. "Take whatever time you need, I understand. Just promise me you're coming back."

She smiled. "I promise," she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed the top of her head. "Carly's going to kill me for letting you go."

She laughed then, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. "Just tell her I knocked you out and had the pilot carry you off the plane."

"I'm going to have to." He kissed her once more. "Call me when you get settled in."

"I will," she promised. "Goodbye."

"Bye."

She watched as he left the plane. Then, taking a deep breath, she called to the pilot that she was ready to leave.

_Don't you wonder why I gotta say goodbye?_


	11. Call and Answer

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself, don't belong to me.

**_Author's Note_**: Alright everyone, get ready… a chapter of 100 pure fluff. Cheesy? Probably, but I had enough of the angst and the angst will be back for the next chapter, so enjoy! And if you have the time, let me know what you think.

Song credit goes to Barenaked Ladies, the song is _Call and Answer._

* * *

_I think its getting to the point_  
_Where I can be myself again  
__I think its getting to the point  
__Where we have almost made amends  
__I think its getting to the point  
__That is the hardest part…_

* * *

It took Courtney a little bit longer to decide she was ready to return to Port Charles, a lot longer than necessary according to Carly and Jason. But Courtney had her reasons for staying so long in New York. Three main reasons actually. 

As predicted, Jax had pulled out of the foundation shortly after that day in the hospital and while she had expected it to happen, she hadn't had enough time to prepare. It had been a huge financial blow, but slowly, she was getting the foundation back on steady feet and the new investors were greatly pleased with her, as well as the progress.

It had taken some time, but Courtney finally felt much more secure in her relationship with Jason. She had never told him everything that had happened with Jax, but was pretty sure he had figured most of it out, or had heard from Carly. He had been great though. He had never pushed her into talking about it, he had given her the space and time she needed to figure things out, and now, everything was fine. She would always care about Jax, she knew that, but there was no way he could ever make her feel the way Jason did.

And then there was the other reason she had stayed. A much bigger reason that undoubtedly was going to land her in very hot water, not just with Jason and Carly, but nearly everyone she knew.

But now here she was, almost 5 months to the day she had left, and finally, she was ready to go home. She couldn't put it off any longer, and quite honestly, she didn't want to.

So why was she so scared to pick up the phone and call? It wasn't like she hadn't talked daily with Jason and Carly, and each had been to New York to see her several times before tensions started rising between Sonny and some of the other families, and Jason had to stay in town for business.

Finally, she grabbed the phone and dialed. Carly answered on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Hey Carly, it's me. How have you been?"

"Court, hey! I'm great, how about you?"

"I'm doing really great," Courtney said truthfully. "I have some good news."

"What is it?"

"Well, I'm coming home."

Carly squealed over the phone. "It's about damn time! Courtney, that's great, when are you going to be here?"

"As soon as you can get Sonny's plane here to pick me up." Courtney laughed. "I'm really ready to come home."

"Thank God for that, I was beginning to think you weren't ever coming home. I'll call the pilot and you should be home in time for dinner tonight."

"I can't wait." She took a deep breath. "I need you to do one other thing Carly."

"Anything, what is it?"

"Don't tell Jason I'm coming home."

"What? I thought you guys were doing really well."

"We are, we are. It's just—I want to surprise him when I get home." She wandered over to the desk in the corner of the room and picked up a picture and smiled.

"But Court, how do you expect me to keep this quiet?"

"It's only for today," Courtney pointed out. "Chances are, you won't even see him until I'm already home."

"This is really unfair," Carly protested.

"Carly please!" There was silence on the other end. "Carly!"

Carly sighed resignedly. "All right, have it your way. I'll call the pilot right now and have him call you with the details."

"Thanks, I really do appreciate it."

"Yeah, yeah." Carly laughed. "It'll be great having you home, we've all missed you so much."

"I've missed everyone too. Okay, I'm going to go finish my packing." She paused. "Carly?"

"What?"

"Promise me Carly. I want to hear you say the words." She waited. "Carly, I mean it!"

"Okay already! Geez! I promise I won't tell Jason you're on your way back to town. You happy now?"

"Yes, very. I will see you in a few hours." She hung up the phone and sighed, still looking at the picture in her hands.

It had been almost three months since she had last seen Jason. At first, she had seen him all the time, but then the business relationship between Sonny and one of the casinos had become strained and then Jason was kept busy trying to keep the peace and finding out who was responsible, so he hadn't been able to get to New York since then.

Which is why he didn't know. Again, she looked down at the picture in her hand. A sonogram picture that had been taken just the day before. Her doctor had given her a clear bill of health, saying the baby was one hundred percent healthy, and that there was no reason she shouldn't carry to full term. She was pretty sure she hadn't stopped smiling since and she couldn't wait until she told Jason.

"Just a few more hours, Angel," she said softly, placing her hand on her abdomen. "And we'll finally be home."

* * *

"We'll be taking off in 5 minutes, Miss Matthews, and we should be arriving in Port Charles by six thirty," the pilot said. 

She smiled at him. "Thanks Andy." She settled herself on the couch with a file from work and began reading as the plane took off. She heard Andy tell her it was okay to unfasten her seatbelt, so she did, curling her legs underneath her comfortably, and resumed reading.

"All work and no play make for an awfully dull flight, don't you think?"

Courtney jumped and her breath hitched in her throat as she looked up. She was going to _kill _Carly. "Jason! I wasn't—"

He grinned. "Before you say anything, I'm supposed to give you this." He walked over and handed her a note.

She took it, reading aloud.

Court— I kept my promise. I didn't tell him. I can't help it if I told Michael, and he was so excited that he told Jason. See you soon! Love, Carly. 

"Did she put Michael up to telling you?" she asked, grinning despite herself.

Jason laughed. "She pounded on my door until I finally answered, and said Michael had something important to tell me."

"I should have known better."

"Come on Courtney. Aren't you even the littlest bit excited to see me?" Jason grabbed her arm and pulled her to a standing position. "Because I haven't seen you in forever and I know I'm—" His voice broke off when he caught sight of her stomach. He looked up at her with wide eyes.

"Surprise," she said weakly, wishing she had been able to tell him in a different way.

"Courtney." Jason couldn't find any words for a few seconds. "I—you're—you're pregnant?"

She nodded and smiled. "I am," she said. "Almost 5 months."

"I don't understand. You never said anything."

"I know, I'm sorry. I can try and explain all of that." She sat down, pulling him down next to her. "I didn't want to tell anyone until I knew we were both going to be okay. I wanted to make it at least through the first trimester."

"But you're almost at the end of the second."

She looked down at her hands. "Jason, you were so busy with work, and my doctor still wasn't sure if I was going to be able to carry to full term. I didn't want you to worry, not when you needed to concentrate on work."

"Work?" Jason shook his head. "Courtney, you should have told me. I would have been right with you this whole time."

"Oh honey, I know that." She smiled at him. "But Jason, I didn't want anyone to know in case anything happened. I didn't want you to have to go through all of that pain again."

"But what if something would have happened? Courtney, who would have been there to help you?"

She smiled, and reached for his hand. "But nothing happened, and as soon as I could, here I am, on my way home to you." She smiled at the look on his face. "I swear, we're both perfectly healthy," she said, resting his hand on her stomach. She reached over and took the sonogram picture out of her purse. "See? Baby's first picture."

Jason took the picture and she watched as a smile spread across his face and his eyes lit up. "I don't believe this," he said. "Courtney, how? I thought?"

She shook her head. "I don't know Jase, but it happened." She scooted closer to him. "Hey," she said softly. "You haven't kissed me hello yet."

"I haven't, have I?" he leaned down and kissed her gently. "Better?"

"Much." She snuggled against him and sighed happily. "I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she said. "Do you forgive me?"

"I think I can manage too," he said, still looking at the picture. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" he asked.

"Nope, not yet. All I know is that she's completely healthy, everything is going smoothly, and my doctor is confident that I should have a problem-free pregnancy."

"I still can't believe it," Jason said. "I never thought that we'd get this."

"Believe me, no one can be as surprised as I was," Courtney said. "I still don't believe it sometimes."

"Are you happy?"

She laughed. "Do you even have to ask that?" She leaned forward and kissed him. "I couldn't be any happier than I am at this exact moment."

"No?" Jason frowned. "Well that puts me in a difficult position now."

"How so?"

"See, I was kind of hoping to make you even happier by giving you this, but if you don't think it's going to work, then I can always take it back," he said, handing her a box.

Courtney looked at him suspiciously before lifting the lid. "Jason!" she breathed, when she saw the diamond ring nestled in white cotton.

"I saw this, and I thought of you, and while I know you already have an engagement ring from me, I thought that you might like this one, and instead of an engagement ring, it can be a promise ring. That is, if you promise to let me spend the rest of our lives making you has happy as I possibly can?"

"Jason," she repeated, but her throat was clogged with tears. She wanted to blame the hormones, but she knew she would have been just as teary no matter what.

"What do you think Courtney?" he asked, taking the ring and slipping it onto her finger. "Will you marry me?"

"Yeah," she whispered, looking down at the ring quickly before looking back up at him. "I think I will."

_So if you call, I will answer_  
_I'll point you home…_


	12. Champagne High

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH, as well as General Hospital itself, don't belong to me.

**_Author's Note: _**Wow, there's a LOT going on in this chapter, so read carefully! I know it's a little long, but I was still trying to fit everything into these last two chapters, but it's not going to happen. Which means, after this chapter, there's still two more to go! Hopefully this chapter works out okay, and there will be more flashbacks in the next chapter. If you like, let me know what you think.

Song credit goes to Sister Hazel for their song _Champagne High._

* * *

_And for the million hours that we were  
__Well I'll smile and remember it all  
__Then I'll turn and go  
__While your story's completed, mine is a long way from done…_

"Momma wake up! Wake up Daddy!" Five year old Macey Morgan jumped up and down on her parents' bed, her blonde curls bouncing all over the place. "Wake up!"

"Macey, it's 6 AM," Courtney groaned, looking at the clock. "We don't get up this early."

"Today we do!" The little girl giggled as she jumped some more. "It's my birthday! Daddy, wake up!"

"Are you sure it's your birthday?" Jason asked.

"Yup! I'm five now!" She held up five fingers to prove her point.

"Well in that case." He grabbed his daughter around the waist and brought her down between him and Courtney. "It's time for birthday tickles!" Macey shrieked as Jason tickled her sides. "Come on Mommy, tickle Macey."

Courtney giggled along with them as she freed Macey from Jason's grasp and pulled her safely onto her lap. "Happy Birthday baby girl," she said, kissing her cheek.

"Can I open my presents now?"

"You know the rules Macey. No presents until after breakfast and when Uncle Sonny and Aunt Carly are here." Courtney yawned. "And it's too early for breakfast."

"Momma's grouchy in the morning," Jason teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Maybe if Daddy hadn't kept her up all night."

"Yeah, yeah. You know what Macey? How about you and I go have some breakfast and let Momma sleep a little bit more? And after you eat, we'll go across the hall and you can wake Aunt Carly up. How's that?"

"Yay!" Macey clapped her hands together, while Courtney tried to protest but was laughing too much.

"It's not like Carly's ever had a problem sending the kids here to wake us up," Jason shrugged. "It's only fair." He kissed the top of her head. "I'll bring you some coffee in a little bit. Come on Miss Macey," he said, swinging her over his shoulder and carrying her out of the room.

"No presents!" Courtney called after them. Jason's reply was muffled but it sounded suspiciously like "We'll see."

Alone in the now quiet bedroom, Courtney raised herself up to a sitting position and looked at the pictures that sat on her nightstand. She picked up one from the day Macey had been born and chuckled. _Daddy's Little Girl_ the frame boasted, and it couldn't have been truer. She should have known from how Jason was with Michael, that their own child would be spoiled, but she had no idea the lengths Jason would go with their own little girl.

_

* * *

__"Here you are," Dr. Meadows said, placing the newborn in Courtney's arms. "A perfectly healthy baby girl!"_

"_Jason, look at her," Courtney whispered. "She's beautiful."_

"_Just like Dr. Meadows said," Jason said, as the baby wrapped her hand around his pinky. "Absolutely perfect." He tightened his arm around Courtney's shoulders. "How are you doing?"_

"_I'm great," Courtney answered, unable to take her eyes off of her. And she was. She had gone into labor only about 6 hours ago and things had gone smoother than anyone could have imagined. "Here, you want to hold her?" she asked, tearing her eyes away to look at Jason._

_He grinned and took her into his arms. "Well hello there baby girl, we've been waiting for you for an awful long time, did you know that?"_

"_Okay," Dr. Meadows said, sticking her head back into the room. "Courtney, you need to rest, and we can get that little girl settled in her crib."_

"_Oh don't take her yet," Courtney pleaded. "Please, there's a whole roomful of people out there that will riot if they don't get to see her right now and I'm not ready to let her go yet either."_

_Dr. Meadows laughed. "Ten minutes," she granted. "And then you need to rest."_

"_I will," Courtney promised. She smiled as Jason handed the baby back to her so he could call the others into the room._

"_A girl!" Carly could barely contain her glee as she and Sonny and the boys came into the room. "Let me see her!" She pushed past Sonny and took the baby from Courtney. "Well hello there Precious," she crooned. "Sonny, I want a baby girl."_

_Sonny rolled his eyes as he laughed at his wife. "Yesterday you wanted another boy," he said. "Really, you should have just let Dr. Meadows tell you if it's a boy or girl at your last appointment." He smiled as he carefully took the baby from Carly._

"_No," Carly said stubbornly, resting her own hands on her very pregnant body. "I want to be surprised. But I want a girl." Carly herself, was 7 and a half months pregnant._

_Courtney laughed. "What do you think of your cousin Michael?" she asked, ruffling the redhead's hair._

_He crawled up onto the bed carefully to get a better look. "Did I look like that when I was born?"_

_Jason laughed. "You looked even funnier," he said and Michael stuck his tongue out at him._

"_What are you going to name her?" Sonny asked, returning the little girl to Courtney._

"_We still haven't decided on a name," Courtney confessed, looking up at Jason. "She's going to need one pretty soon though."_

_Jason sat down next to her and looked at their little girl. "Well, Michael and I were going through that name book the other day, and I think we should name her Macey."_

"_Macey?"_

_He nodded. "It means gift, and I think that pretty much sums her up."_

_She smiled and looked down at the baby who was now asleep. "Macey Morgan," she repeated softly. "It's perfect."_

"_Macey Caroline Morgan, you mean," Carly said, slipping her arm around Sonny's waist._

"_Macey Caroline," Jason said. "It's a name fit for a princess."_

* * *

And a princess is exactly what Macey was. Jason wouldn't have it any other way. While most kids had playhouses or jungle gyms, Macey had a castle in her playroom. Courtney would laugh and tease him that he was wrapped around her little finger, and while he would try to deny it, the glimmer in his eyes would say otherwise.

"Momma!" Macey looked up from the kitchen table to see Courtney standing in the doorway.

"What did I say about presents before breakfast?" she asked, her hand on her hip. Perched on top of Macey's head was a sparkling blue tiara.

"Daddy got me another crown!" The little girl spoke through a mouthful of cereal.

"I see that, how many crowns do you have now?" Courtney asked, coming over to wipe the milk off of her chin. "A hundred?"

"Silly Momma," Jason said. "She only has five. One for every birthday, it's tradition."

"Mmhmm." Courtney tried to look mad but couldn't.

"If it makes you feel any better, I bought you one too," Jason said, handing her a box.

Courtney laughed. "It does. Thank you." She leaned down and kissed him on the lips.

"Can I go wake Aunt Carly now?"

"You sure can!" Jason said as he handed Courtney a cup of coffee. "Come on, I'll walk you to the door and Max will let you in over there, okay?" They headed into the other room and Courtney laughed again as she heard Macey chatter excitedly to Max.

"Aren't you going to put your crown on?" Jason asked, when he saw her enter the living room. He took the box from her hands and set he crown on her head. "There, perfect."

She rolled her eyes. "You keep spoiling her like this and we're going to have a little monster on our hands," she said.

"What are you talking about? Macey's the perfect child. We couldn't ask for a better-behaved little girl. I mean, we could have gotten stuck with little miss Briana over there." Briana was Sonny and Carly's little girl, and so far, she had seemed to inherit every single trait she could from Carly, from her loud mouth to her stubbornness.

Courtney giggled. "You have a point there." She sighed and leaned back against him. "She's five already, can you believe that? She's going to be starting kindergarten in a few months."

"I know, these last few years have just flown by," Jason agreed. He leaned down to kiss her, but before he could, the front door flew open and Macey and Briana came tearing into the room.

"They're always kissing," Briana said to Macey. Briana too, was wearing a purple crown. "Mommy says that they're like a couple of teenagers."

"Mommy has a big mouth, tell her that Briana," Jason said.

"So does your daughter," Carly informed him as she and Sonny shuffled into the room. "Michael never screamed that loud when he was that little."

"Where did you learn how to be loud Macey?" Courtney asked, handing Carly a cup of coffee.

"From Aunt Carly," the little girl said matter-of-factly. "Can I open my presents now?"

* * *

Four hours later the kids were playing and Courtney and Carly were busy cleaning up the mess while Sonny and Jason were in Sonny's office going over some paperwork.

"Was there anything Jason didn't buy her?" Carly asked, as she shoved the last bit of wrapping paper into the trash bag.

Courtney shook her head. "Everything she asked for, she got," she said. "To be fair though, I wasn't much better than he was with spoiling her," she confessed.

"Yeah, you'd think it was Briana's birthday too, from the amount of stuff she got as well."

"I know; Jason didn't want her to feel left out." Courtney laughed. "I can't wait until those girls are teenagers and starting to date. Jason and Sonny are going to be so lost."

Carly laughed. "They'll be running background checks and sending them out with bodyguards, no doubt," she agreed.

"Court, the car's here so you can take Macey to Kelly's whenever you're ready," Jason said, sticking his head into the penthouse.

"Let's go see Grandpa right now!" Macey said, overhearing her dad and jumping up and down. "He said he got me a big present!"

"I think you've got enough presents to last you until next year," Courtney said, tugging playfully on one of her curls. "But if you're ready, let's go now." She figured if they went now while it was still early, she'd be able to convince her to take a nap later on this afternoon.

"I'm ready! Can I ride down the elevator with Max by myself?" Macey asked. "You said I could when I was a big girl, and I'm five now."

"All right, go on down, and I'll be right there," Courtney said. She smiled as she heard Max address her as "Princess Macey" and made a mental note to sit Jason down for a talk soon.

"Briana, let's go get you dressed for the day," Carly said, scooping up the dark haired girl. "Courtney, I'll see you later for dinner?" she asked.

"Yeah, we'll be over around six," Courtney confirmed. She closed the penthouse door behind her and headed for the elevator herself. "What are you doing?" she asked, as she saw Jason standing in the elevator.

"Which floor ma'am?" he asked.

Courtney shook her head. "You need sleep," she teased. She giggled as he pulled her into him and kissed her. As the doors closed shut she heard Carly yell something about acting like teenagers.

"All right," she said as they walked out of the building. "We should be back from my dad's by noon, and I plan on trying to get Macey to take a nap after that, and—"

"Good luck," Jason said with a smirk. Courtney pushed him playfully.

"So while she's napping, I'm going to get a little bit of work done, and then the rest of the day I will submit to our little princess's every whim."

"Who's spoiling her now?" he asked. "Macey, come here!" he called, once he saw her sitting in the limo.

"But I'm ready to go!" she called stubbornly. "I even have my seat belt on!"

"Macey, come say good-bye to Daddy," Courtney said. "He needs his hug goodbye."

"But I want to go see Grandpa now!"

"Miss Macey, I said come here," Jason said in a mock-serious tone. He started towards the car as she reluctantly undid her seat belt and got out of the car.

Everything that happened next happened so fast that Courtney wasn't sure what happened first. Suddenly, she heard loud popping sounds and then a bright flash of light and what sounded like thunder, as William, the doorman, grabbed her and forced her to the ground, covering her body with his own. She looked up in time to see the limo was in flames and she could still hear the popping, which she finally realized was gunshots.

Sonny came tearing out of the penthouse with his gun drawn, firing at what Courtney assumed were the hit men.

"Macey!" she screamed, trying to get up, but William held her down.

"Courtney stay down!" she heard Jason yell.

"Macey!" she cried out again. _Please God, let her be all right,_ she prayed silently. She was facing away from Jason so she didn't know if Macey had even made it out of the car.

She had to have; her little girl couldn't have still been in the car that was now completely engulfed in flames.

Finally William moved to let Courtney up, and she scrambled to her feet. She tried to call out to Jason but he was already next to her, with Macey in his arms.

"Get her into the building," he instructed, handing her over and reaching for his own gun.

"Jason—"

"Now!" He turned and took off with Sonny in the direction that the other men had taken off in.

"Courtney? Oh my God, Courtney, what happened?" Carly was standing in the lobby, her face pale.

"Macey, honey are you okay?" Courtney set her down on the floor and looked her over quickly. She tried to wipe some of the gray ash off of her and gasped when she saw her dress was stained red in some spots. "Carly, help me," she said frantically, looking Macey over to see where the blood had come from.

"Momma, what happened?" Macey asked, her blue eyes bright with tears. "Why did the fire start and what was that noise?"

"It's not hers," Carly whispered, looking panic-stricken.

"Baby are you okay?" Courtney asked. Macey nodded. "Are you hurt?"

"My arm hurts but I fell on it when Daddy fell on me," she explained.

"Okay sweetie, you're okay," Courtney looked up at Carly, not sure what to do.

Carly stepped up. "Macey, honey, why don't you go upstairs with Leticia and she'll get you a new dress to put on, okay?" she asked, handing her over to Leticia. Once they were upstairs, she faced Courtney again. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know." Courtney looked back out the front door. "The car exploded _and _there was gunfire. Oh my God, Jason—he's hurt, he was shot." Before she could say anymore, the doors opened and both Sonny and Jason came in. "Jason!"

"Are you okay?" he asked, leaning against the wall. Courtney saw that he was holding his abdomen. "Where's Macey?"

"She's upstairs with Leticia. We're both okay. Jason, you're hurt, let me see." She moved his hand away and gasped when she saw the angry red stain spreading across the front of his shirt. She heard Carly swear quietly behind her.

"I'm fine, it's just a scratch," Jason said, but even as the words came out, his face was getting paler and paler."

"An ambulance is on its way," William said. He helped Sonny get Jason to sit down.

"I don't need an ambulance," Jason tried to protest, but his breathing was becoming labored and it was difficult to speak."

"Shh, just hang on Jason," Courtney whispered, as she held the towel William had offered her to his stomach. She could hear the sirens in the distance. She was shaking so hard that she couldn't keep the pressure against his chest and finally Sonny had to take over while Carly led Courtney into the corner.

He was unconscious by the time the paramedics had loaded him into the ambulance and they wouldn't let Courtney ride with him, so Sonny instructed Carly to drive her to the hospital while he talked to the police who had shown up when the paramedics did.

"He'll be okay, right?" Courtney whispered when she and Carly were on their way to GH.

"Absolutely," Carly declared. "Just wait, we're going to get there and he's going to be sitting up in bed and telling us he didn't need that ambulance in the first place."

Silence overtook the car then, as both women tried desperately to believe what Carly had said.

_I'm on a champagne high_  
_Where will I be when I stop wondering why…_


	13. Back to You

**_Disclaimer: _**The characters of GH as well as General Hospital itself don't belong to me.

**_Author's notes: _**Only one more chapter after this! Hope you like this chapter, let me know what you think.

Song credit goes to John Mayer for the absolutely amazing song _Back to You, _it's one of my top 3 favorite songs and I can't believe I haven't used it yet in a Journey story.

* * *

_Back to you, it always comes back to you  
__I tried to forget you; I tried to stay away  
__But it's too late…_

_Flashback_

It rained the evening of the wedding, sending everyone into a panicked tailspin. Everyone except the bride, that is. While Carly was trying her best to reassure Courtney that everything would still go off as planned, it was actually Courtney who ended up calming her best friend down. As Carly fretted over Courtney getting her dress wet, Courtney only laughed, and reminded her that a little rain never hurt anyone and that it was a sign of good luck for it to rain on a wedding day.

So here they were, exactly 3 weeks to the day that Courtney had come back to town, at the little chapel in the woods with only their closest family members present to witness the marriage. It was a very simple ceremony, and only when it came time to recite their vows, did Courtney how choked up she was and that it would be a little harder to say the vows she had written days before.

"It almost seems silly, that we're here pledging our love to each other in vows that we've already said once before, but standing here with you today, I can suddenly think of a thousand more things I could say to you now that I didn't say back then."

"I could stand here and tell you that I never once dreamed that we'd be here, in this church, together again but I'd be lying," she began. "Because the truth is, from the time I met you, I've always known we'd end up together, no matter how long if took for us to get here. I've always known that we belong to each other, and I'm so lucky to have another chance to show you just how much I love you. We've shared some hard times together, there's no denying that, but all the wonderful times we've spent together far outnumber those few bad ones." Her voice started to crack, and she swallowed, smiling up at him through the tears in her eyes. "I love you Jason. I always have, I always will. And I'll never stop trying to prove to you and to show you just how much."

Jason cleared his throat and began. "I guess it's no secret that we've both always known that we'd always come back to this place, and if we did happen to forget, we always had someone there to remind us." He paused to glance over at Carly, who managed to smile through her tears. "Courtney, I never thought I deserved you, but standing here, with you, I finally see that I do. We belong together, and while sometimes, it's been difficult, we've always managed to believe in each other, and in us. I never thought I'd love anyone quite like this, but loving you the way I do, I know I won't ever stop. And I promise you, that I'm going to take each and every day that we are together to prove to you just how happy you make me, and I'm going to do everything I can to keep you, and our family, safe and happy and you will always feel loved. We may not always agree on everything Courtney, but we've always found our way back to each other and I promise that I'll always come back to you."

_End Flashback_

"Back to you," Courtney whispered to herself as she twisted the gold band around her finger. "Please Jason, just come back to me."

"Courtney?"

Courtney jumped at the sound of her name. "Monica," she said, standing up. "How is he?"

"Very lucky," Monica said. "He's going to be okay. The bullet didn't hit any organs or major arteries and we were able to remove it without any problem. He lost some blood but like I said, he's going to be okay."

"Good, that's good." Courtney nodded. "Can I see him?"

Monica smiled sympathetically. "He is awake, but actually, he asked you to give him 10 minutes with Sonny before he sees you."

Courtney's eyes traveled to Sonny. "You've got 5 minutes before I go in there," she said, sitting back down. Sonny followed Monica back into Jason's room.

"See Court?" Carly said, putting an arm around her. "He's going to be okay."

"I know, you were right." Courtney sighed. "I still can't believe everything that happened today. It's like, I forget what Sonny and Jason actually do, and I honestly don't think I've remembered in a long time, and then something like this happens and I'm probably never going to forget again."

"We'll get through this," Carly said confidently. "And Sonny and Jason are going to do what they can to make sure this doesn't happen again."

"Exactly what I'm afraid of," Courtney said, looking up at Carly. "It's been almost 5 minutes, come on." She stood up and they went to find Jason's room.

As soon as she saw him, the anger that had built up inside her disappeared as she felt a thousand other emotions course through her. "Jason thank God," she said, practically running to the bed and hugging him carefully.

"Hey," he said when she finally pulled back. "Are you okay? Where's Macey?"

"I'm fine, and Macey and the other kids are all with my Dad," she said. "You scared the hell out of me, do you know that?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry. But I'm okay, and I don't want you to worry anymore. Sonny and I know who did this and we're going to fix it."

"Who did this?" she asked, her gaze switching between her husband and her brother.

"Court, come on, you and Carly don't need to know that," Sonny said. "Just trust me and Jason."

"Besides, if you knew that could possibly put you in danger," Jason added.

"Because this right here isn't danger?" Carly asked incredulously.

"Carly, don't start," Sonny started to say before Carly cut him off.

"Don't start what Sonny? I don't know if you've noticed, but Jason's in the hospital. Because he was shot. And let's not forget about the fact that there were—"

"Stop!" Courtney said loudly. "Carly, please, just stop."

"Okay, why don't you two leave me and Courtney alone for a little bit," Jason suggested. He waited until Carly and Sonny were out of the room and took Courtney's hand. "I'm so happy you're okay," he said. "Come here."

She allowed herself to be pulled a little bit closer to him but resisted a complete hug. "I'm happy you're okay too, I am, but Jason, I'm so angry right now."

"I know you are, but you have to believe me, this could have been a lot worse Courtney."

"Worse?" she echoed. "Jason, you were shot. That car exploded and Macey was just a few feet away. I didn't even know if she had made it out of the car. In that short amount of time I could have lost you and I could have lost her, and what would I have left Jason?" She felt a few tears spill from her eyes and relented as Jason pulled her into his chest. "I can't lose either one of you," she whispered.

"You won't," Jason promised. "I haven't let you down yet, have I?"

"No," she admitted reluctantly. She brushed at her eyes and ran her fingers through his hair. "So what are you and Sonny going to do?"

"We're sending you and Carly and the kids to the island and we're going to get things under control here."

Courtney narrowed her eyes. "Is that all you're going to tell me?" she asked.

"For now, yes." Jason sighed. "Courtney, you know I can't say anymore than that."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it." Courtney knew she sounded like a pouting child, more specifically, like Briana, but she didn't care.

"Courtney, you know I would never do anything that would hurt us, don't you?"

"I know. Promise me something though?"

"Anything."

"This is it Jason," she said, pulling back so she could look directly into his eyes. "This ends once and for all because I can't do this again. I would never be able to handle something happening to you or Macey ever again. If you and Sonny can't end this, then I have no choice but to take Macey and go." The words surprised Courtney even as they came out of her mouth and even more surprisingly; she realized she meant them.

Jason nodded. "If this doesn't end I will bring you the divorce papers myself," he said.

"I'm serious Jason," she protested. "You know I love you more than I could ever say but I can't risk anything like today happening ever again to Macey. Please Jason, I'm begging you, don't let it come to that."

"I won't," he promised, lacing his fingers through hers.

* * *

"Okay," Jason said, coming into the room. "The pilot's all set for you guys," he said as he swung Macey into his arms. "Are you going to be a good girl for Momma and Aunt Carly?" It was only 3 days later, and Carly and Courtney were on their way to the island already.

Macey nodded. "I will," she said. "But why aren't you coming with us? You always come to the island."

"Daddy will be there in a few days honey," Courtney said, reaching up to remove the little girl's thumb from her mouth. "He just has some work he needs to do first."

"Oh." Macey nodded and then turned back to Jason. "Can we build sand castles when you get there?"

"We sure can," Jason promised. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head before setting her down. "Why don't you go with Leticia and the kids and get on the plane while I say goodbye to Momma, okay?" He watched as she ran off and then turned to Courtney. "Hey, smile," he chided gently, tilting her chin up.

"I can't. Jason, I don't like this at all." She sighed. "You just got out of the hospital yesterday and I don't want to leave you alone."

"I'm fine Courtney," he said, trying to reassure her. "And I'll be a lot better knowing that you and Carly and the kids are safe and away from here right now."

"You just make everything sound so dangerous," she said. "And I'm allowed to worry, okay?"

"I know," Jason said. "I promise you though, Sonny and I will come for you sooner than you think. Just have fun with the kids, enjoy the sun, don't worry _too much_, and just know that I'm on my way back, okay?"

"Okay," Courtney relented. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head under his chin. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll call you soon." He cleared his throat. "You better get going, it's almost time for takeoff."

She reached up and kissed him. "Bye," she whispered before turning and boarded the plane.

"This will be over soon," he called after her. "I promise."

As the plane made its ascent into the sky, both Carly and Courtney sat there silently looking at each other, each wondering what would happen the next time they saw their husbands.

_Leave the light on_  
_I'll never give up on you…_


	14. Blessed

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters of GH or General Hospital itself.

**Author's note: **I wasn't going to post both of these chapters today, but then I decided that finishing the story on my birthday seemed like a really fun idea, so that's what I did. Story's done guys! Thank you all who have read and reviewed, or just read it, I really appreciate it and hope you all liked it so far, and that hopefully –fingers crossed- that you like the ending! If you like, let me know what you thought.

Song credit goes to Martina McBride and the song is Blessed.

* * *

Courtney ran her hands through the sand that surrounded her as she stared out at the crashing waves, always keeping an eye on the kids as they played at the shoreline.

It had been just over two weeks since they had gotten to the island, and the phone calls from Sonny and Jason were becoming more and more infrequent. The last they knew, the two men had been on their way to San Diego but neither Carly nor Courtney knew exactly why. Courtney had become resigned to knowing she would never know exactly what was going on these last few weeks but Carly wasn't as resilient. It was driving her crazy not knowing, which in turn, caused her to drive Courtney insane as well.

She really wished Jason was there though, it was rare that they ever spent more than a few days apart from each other, and with Macey still asking for him nightly, it was even harder for Courtney.

Plus, she really needed to talk to him. Face to face this time, not over the phone.

"You're awfully quiet," Carly observed from her spot next to Courtney. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Courtney shook her head. "Nothing really," she answered. She drew her legs up and rested her head on her knees. "Just thinking. I'm just a little tired."

"I see," Carly said knowingly. "Look, I wasn't going to say anything, but you know how good I am about keeping secrets, and I'm even worse at not knowing them, so I have to."

"Secrets?" Courtney hoped she sounded curious. "What are you talking about?"

"I can't believe you haven't told me yet," Carly said, a hint of accusation in her voice. We're best friends, sisters, after all."

"I think you've had too much sun, maybe you should go lay down," Courtney suggested.

"I'm not blind Courtney, I've noticed what's been going on with you since we've been here."

"The same as you. Watching the kids and missing my husband."

"Going to bed early, saying you had the flu" Carly punctuated the words with her hands "for the past week. Have you told Jason yet?"

"Told him what?" Courtney tried to act nonchalant but knew she was caught.

"That you're pregnant again!" Carly squealed, nearly knocking Courtney over as she hugged her.

Courtney laughed despite herself as she and Carly tumbled into the sand. "No, I haven't told him, I just found out myself a few days ago anyways."

"Another baby! Courtney, this is so wonderful, I'm so excited for you! How far along are you? Have you seen a doctor?" Carly's questions came faster than Courtney could answer them.

"I'm only a month a long, and yes I saw the doctor yesterday," she replied. "Everything seems to progressing normally so far."

"Jason's gonna flip, you know that right? I didn't know you guys were even trying to have another baby."

"We weren't," Courtney said honestly. "I didn't even know if I could get pregnant again, I already had my one miracle with Macey, I still can't believe I get another one."

"Well I couldn't be happier for you," Carly said, a smile still bright on her face.

"Thanks," Courtney said, her gaze drifting back to the ocean.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Carly asked, concerned that Courtney didn't seem to be as happy as she was.

"What if things don't go like Sonny and Jason have planned?" she asked. "Could I handle raising two children on my own? And what if they don't get out of the business?"

"If they don't, then life goes on like it has for the last 5 years," Carly said diplomatically. "We won't be the happiest about it, but we've both learned to live with it."

"I haven't," Courtney said softly. "I told Jason if they didn't go legit I was going to take Macey and leave him." She kept her eyes on the water as she spoke.

"Court, are you crazy?"

She dragged her eyes to Carly's face. "I'd be crazy if I let Macey be put in danger again. I'm not as strong as you Carly, I can't live day to day worrying that each time I kiss my daughter and husband it could be the last. And now with another baby on the way?" She shook her head. "They have to get out," she said finally.

"They will," Carly said matter-of-factly. "Jason will do whatever it takes to keep you in his life."

"Daddy!" Macey screeched from where she was playing with Briana and began running down the beach.

"Macey wait!" Courtney protested, jumping up and squinting in the direction that Macey had taken off in.

"It's them, they're back," Carly breathed, as she got to her feet. "Michael, Morgan and Briana, come on!" she said as Sonny and Jason got closer.

"Daddy you're here!" Macey cried as she reached Jason. "I've been waiting so long, I didn't think you'd ever get here!"

"Hey there Miss Macey," he said, kneeling down so he could engulf her in a big bear hug. "I've missed you little girl," he said.

"I missed you too! I was a really good girl too, you can ask Momma if you want!"

"Is that so?" Jason looked up and grinned at Courtney, who had finally caught up to them. "Is that true Momma?"

She nodded. "She's been an angel, just like she promised," she said, smiling as Jason stood up with Macey in his arms. "Welcome back," she whispered, as he slid his free arm around her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a similar reunion between Carly and Sonny and their kids.

"What about you? Did you miss me too?" He asked.

She shrugged, trying her best to act indifferent. "A little," she said. "But there's this one really hot guy that works down in the casino, Carlos, his name is, and well—"

"Uh-huh," Jason said, as he grabbed the back of her head and pulled her close enough for a kiss. "Carlos isn't gonna kiss you like that," he said when they finally broke apart.

Courtney giggled and nodded her head in agreement. Before she could say anything Macey squirmed around in Jason's arms and waited for him to set her back down.

"Daddy, Michael and Morgan are helping us build a sand castle, wanna come help too?" she asked.

"That sounds great Sweetie," Jason said. "We'll build the biggest sand castle ever!"

"Yay!" Macey clapped her hands. "Come on Briana!" she said.

"Why don't you guys go ahead and we'll all be there in a minute?" Carly suggested. "Michael, can you watch everyone until we get there?" He agreed and the kids all went back to their spot on the beach.

"See, I told you we wouldn't be that long," Sonny said, coming up to Courtney. He hugged her. "Did you keep my wife out of trouble?"

"I did my best," she said with a laugh. "It's good to see you though."

"Sonny, come on," Carly said, tugging at his hand. "Let's go help the kids and give these two a few minutes alone," she suggested, with a wink at Courtney. "Glad you're back Jase!" she called over her shoulder as they headed down the beach.

"What was that about?" Jason asked.

She shrugged and laughed lightly. "Who knows what goes on in Carly's mind," she said dismissively, not ready to tell him just yet. "We should go get Macey, she's missed you so much." She started to walk away but Jason caught her hand and pulled her back to him.

"Courtney," he said, sliding an arm around her waist again. He used his free hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "We're out," he said softly.

"You are?" she asked as tears sprang to her eyes. She couldn't believe how incredibly happy those two little words had made her. He nodded at her. "For good?"

"For good," he pronounced. "As of yesterday, Corinthos-Morgan Imports became a completely legit, right side of the law, business. I told you Courtney, I'd never let you down."

"Oh my God, Jason!" She couldn't stop the tears from falling, and she laughed as he brushed them away. "I can't believe it," she whispered, hugging him as tightly as she could.

"Believe it," he said with a smile. "Did you honestly think I'd let anything happen that would take you and Macey away from me?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "Not for one second," she added, cupping his face in her hands. "I love you so much," she whispered, kissing him again.

"I love you too," he said. "Come on, I'll bet Macey's chomping at the bit by now."

"Wait," Courtney said. It was her turn to stop Jason and pull him back to her. "There's something I need to tell you now," she said.

"What is it?" he asked, gazing down at her.

She smiled. "I was just wondering how you would feel about expanding our family," she said.

"What? You mean like get a dog or something? Macey didn't fall in love with the turtles in the hotel, did she?"

Courtney laughed and shook her head. "Well, yeah she did, but I explained to her how they couldn't come home with us."

"Well then what do you mean?"

"I mean, how would you feel about another baby?"

"I'd love another baby, you know that," he said, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "We could have a lot of fun trying too, couldn't we?"

She sighed at how clueless her husband was. "We could," she agreed. "One slight problem though."

"What?"

"I'm already pregnant," she whispered into his ear, pulling back to watch her words register with him. She grinned as she saw his eyes light up and a smile form on his own face.

"You're sure?" he asked when he finally found his voice again.

Courtney nodded. "Doctor confirmed it yesterday," she said.

"I can't believe it," Jason said, still stunned. "Courtney this is—I'm so—I mean—"

She laughed at him then. "I know," she said. "I feel the same way. Congratulations Daddy."

"Congratulations Mommy," he said, lifting her up off the ground as he kissed her. Finally, he set her back on her feet and they headed down the beach towards the others.

"Can I ask you one favor this time?" he asked, as they walked hand in hand.

"Whatever you want," she said, happy to finally have Jason back with her.

"Can you have a boy this time?" He knelt down next to Macey who grinned at him. "What do you think Macey? Would you like a little brother?"

"Hey!" Courtney protested with a laugh. "We'll just have to wait and see on that," she said; as she grabbed a sand shovel and helped Macey dig another hole in the sand. When she wasn't looking, Carly snuck up behind her with a pail of water and tried to dump it on her, but Courtney saw her at the last moment and reflected the pail, sending the water over Sonny, causing everyone to burst out in laughter.

Jason stepped back and watched as Courtney and Macey played together in the sand. His mind went back six years ago to the night Courtney found him on the docks and he remembered everything he had felt when he had taken her in his arms then. He had been true to his words from that night. He kept her safe, he gave her the life she wanted, the life she deserved, and she had given him more than he had ever expected to get out of life.

He got down on the sand with everyone else and pulled her into his arms, grabbing Macey as well. He laughed as the little girl tackled him, sending him flat onto his back.

Courtney looked down at him then, with her blue eyes were sparkling and the biggest smile he had ever seen grace her face. She had never looked more beautiful and he had never been more in love.

Returning the smile, he mouthed the words _I love you_ and then resumed playing with their daughter, at the same time realizing just how lucky he really was.

And he couldn't thank God enough.

_I have been blessed  
And I feel like I've found my way  
I thank God for all I've been given  
At the end of every day  
I have been blessed  
With so much more than I deserve  
To be here with the ones that love me  
To love them so much it hurts  
I have been blessed_


End file.
